SARAH “You don’t need to talk to him if you don’t want to.” Julian whispers as he leans into my ear. If Jaxon sees this gesture, if he’s annoyed by it, he doesn’t show it on his face. Instead, he keeps his eyes solely on me, completely ignoring the man standing next to me. I’m quiet as well, not daring to make a move. A part of me wants to tell Jaxon off and walk away, but a greater part—the one that’s still in love with him and his brothers—wants…no, needs to stay back and hear him out. I fear I won’t forgive myself if I don’t. When he finally stands in front of me, Jaxon’s caring gaze dances all over my face. He finds it hard to stare at one thing in particular, as though he has to fight the urge to take in all of me, to be sure I’m really the one in front of him. “It’s…it’s really you. I’ve been dying to see you for a long time, but they wouldn’t even let me leave the room.” By “they”, I’m sure he means his brothers. From what I remember about that dreadful night, Jaxon was the one who came to save me. He held me in his arms until I lost consciousness. But when I told him I loved him, he didn’t say it back. My lips quiver lightly as I hold back the fire urge to scream at him, free hand clenched into a fist. How can he approach me as though nothing happened? Like he didn’t have a huge part to play in the nightmare I just lived through? What did he expect? That I would throw my arms around him and be grateful that he came to see me? To think that I’ve been beside them all this while, and no one even thought to drop by. I’m sure as hell he only came because he saw Julian and I walking out of my room together. The sly motherfucker. “Why are you here, Jaxon? Why are you even talking to me?” He blinks, seemingly confused. A strangled laughter escapes his throat. “What…what do you mean? I saw you walk past. I had to come see you. Ronan and Malachi aren’t in, and I had to make Kevin promise not to tell them I got out of bed.” I grit my teeth. I knew it. He takes a step forward. “Listen, baby…” His hand almost brushes mine. And for one sick second, I want it—his warmth, his apology, his everything. But then my shoulder throbs, and so does the memory of their lies. And just like that, the warmth turns to ice. Two steps backwards, away from him, helps me replace the distance between us. It’s either that, or I summon my little strength to push him to the ground. His brows knit together, his eyes darkening on my lean frame. “I don’t really want to speak to you right now, Jaxon.” I mutter, but loud enough for him to hear me. I really wanted to see them, but now that I have, it hurts so much. My wounds open all over again, eating me from the inside out. There are so many words that need to be said, I know that. But I have no idea how to start, or if these words are worth saying anyway. There’s nothing left for me to do than to take the easy route. I turn my back to leave. But Jaxon doesn’t give up. “Sarah, wait…” For the first time, I wish he’ll just leave me alone. He tries to touch me, but Julian doesn’t let him. The protective hand that hovers at my back stops Jaxon’s by grabbing his wrist. The tension between them is thick enough to be cut through with a bloody knife. “Didn’t you hear what she just said?” Julian asks him. Jaxon grunts and forcefully frees his hand from Julian’s grip. I expect him to say something to Julian, but he doesn’t. Instead, he tries to reach for me again, but Julian blocks him. They continue their little exchange until it makes me want to puke. I don’t want to see this. “Why the fuck is he even with you?” Jaxon’s question makes me turn to look at him. “I think my friends are allowed to visit.” He scoffs. It’s a sour sound. “Friends? He’s not your friend, Sarah. He just wants to get into your pants, and you know it.” “Hey, watch your mouth man.” “Fuck off!” Jaxon seethes. “I’m right, and you know it. She might be too naive to see through your act, but I’m not. I know what you are. And I won’t let you get your claws on her.” “You need to chill out, and walk away.”“Get the hell out of my face. I’m speaking to my woman. Sarah.” My jaw squeezes tight. I know he’s angry, I know he’s hurt. I am too. That doesn’t give him the right to say such hurtful and vulgar words to me. “Let it go, Julian,” I’m calm, so calm my lips are tight as I speak. “I don’t want you picking a fight with him.” Once again, I turn my back to Jaxon, but he still doesn’t let me go. Julian slowly places a hand on my waist, and Jaxon pulls me by my right shoulder—the bruised one. I’m screaming, but it’s not just the pain in my shoulder. It’s everything. It’s nights of waiting for nothing, it’s the sound of my own heartbeat in an empty hospital room. It’s being someone’s world and their afterthought at the same time. I’m so tired of loving people who love me too late or never love me at all. Julian is fast enough to catch me. He slowly pulls me up while my gaze is fixed on Jaxon’s hurt ones. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean…” “Stop!” I scream at him, holding my right hand up so he knows better than to touch me. The tears fall down my cheeks freely this time. I don’t stop them, not that I can. “When I say stay the fuck away from me, I mean it. I don’t want you anywhere near me right now. Why don’t you respect it?” He swallows hard. “You know I can’t do that.” “Why?” I bite back. “You didn’t seem to have any problem doing it these last few days. What’s so irresistible about me now, huh?” “I didn’t…” he runs both hands down his chestnut brown hair. It’s longer than I remember. “I didn’t know you were there, Sarah. It suddenly makes a lot of sense why Ronan and Malachi wouldn’t let me step out.” “Of course.” “But they had their reasons, I’m sure of it.” I scoff, rolling my eyes. “Of course they did. I’ve been through a lot these past days. So many things have happened, things I’m not sure we can come back from…” His shoulders fall. “Sarah,” his voice breaks. “Don’t say it, baby. Don’t say what you don’t mean. You’re mad now, I get it. It’s like you said. You need some time. We’ll give you time. All the time you need.” Time. All the time I need. If only it’ll be enough to fix us. A drop of tear rolls down my right cheek as I stare at him. “That’s the thing, Jaxon. I’m not sure time can fix this.”