Camile I do not know how long I have been sleeping. Puabi held me after she managed to get me to eat a bit of bread. The pain in my gut subsided but the aching in my heart remained. I wonder if Amy is worried about me. Will she take care of the cats? Will she find someone else to love? These thoughts brought more tears to my eyes and I cried even harder. The grief was becoming worse than my earlier hunger pains. I had cried so much that everything Puabi managed to get me to eat came back up. I had managed long enough to calm my breathing and started to clean up my mess. I heard a door open and close, wiping away my tears. I looked up long enough to see Puabi heading towards me. Swiftly gliding over to me, “It would do you best to forget your old life and accept your new reality.” Puabi’s tone was cold and cruel. What happened to the kind female that held me while I sobbed violently before? Her words stung like a hornet. I buried my face in my hands and shook as another wave of sorrow hit me. “What is his name?” Puabi was behind me pulling my hair to the back away from my face. “She!” I managed to get out. “I had to keep it a secret, my father would have fired me and disowned me because of her.” The dam was broken, tears and words came out in a rush. “I was saving every penny for us to leave and start a new life. I was ready to give up everything for her.” Puabi stroked my head, “if you are to survive, you will have to learn never to show your emotions.” She continued to stroke my head, “emotions are weakness here. If your enemy finds out, they will use that to their advantage. And now, you are very vulnerable.” “Why are you being so kind to me?” I looked up at her with swollen eyes. “I was like you once, and what you need now is an ally. As long as you are awarded to me, I will show you how to survive the inevitable. First we have work to do. I have to get you ready for the Masters viewing. His expectations are high and there can not be any flaws.” Puabi stood up, “follow me, we will get you bathed and dressed.” “And then what?” I tried not to cry. “Remember this, head down, do as you are told, speak only when spoken to. I can not show any weakness or show favouritism. I would prefer not to punish you. I find you very appling, there is something about you that makes you different from everyone here.” Puabi kissed my forehead gently, “I can not show weakness past this door, I would hate to do what is expected of me if you step out of line.” She brought our lips together, slipping her tongue into my mouth. For a second I forgot how I was feeling as a surge of warmth spread over my body, bringing me to relax into this female's arms. She was not my Amy, and part of me felt bad for dishonouring her memory but this felt right. Puabi released our hold and stood up reaching her hand out to me, I stood up looking down at the mess, and Puabi realized what I was looking at, “Leave it, I will have someone coming to clean it up.” Puabi was getting ready to open the door, “Remember Camile everything past this door is my duty to train you. I can not keep you from the inevitable, but I can show you how to survive. The same way I learned!” I bobbed my head up and down understanding what was expected of me. I have no idea where we are going, I am fixated on the throbbing in my chest. The further we were the more pain I was feeling. I was conflicted with the loss of Amy and the energy I felt when Puabi touched me. I thought I would never feel this kind of pain ever again once I found Amy. “What was her name?” Puabi asked as she opened the door. “Amy!” I whispered. “We are not that much different, you and I. The Master took me as payment for my father’s sin. He killed my family and members. Among them was my lover, Zilvolin. I thought I could never love another! After what the Master did, I never dared too!” Puabi motioned for me to follow her after she had studied whatever was in the room. “My father killed the Master's first and only wife!” “Oh dear, that's so …” I covered my hands over my mouth. “It was a very long time ago!” Puabi led me to a pool of water and directed me into the hot water. “Not long after that, my father’s head was presented to me on a plate. The Master made it very clear that if I disobeyed him, I would end up like my father. After that he made me walk past all of the people that lived in my father’s home. I was to name all of the people he had cut the heads off of.” Puabi directed me into the water. For the longest time, she did not say a word. I just sat there while she washed my hair and body. I enjoyed the tingling sensation each time Puabi touched my body. I wondered if she felt it too! “When I came to my lover I dropped to my knees.” Puabi continued as she rinsed the soap out of my hair. “The Master killed my lover, she was my best friend, ally, my soul mate. That was the day I died and the day I was reborn.” A tear trickled down my face as I thought of the pain she endured. “Do you think of her often?” I whispered “At the beginning, she was all I could think of. Now, no, I haven’t! She was killed and I learned my place and have never tried to be anything else but what I am. This is my nature and I have embraced it! The point is, if you continue on this path that you have chosen, you will only find more pain. Acknowledge the issue, deal with it and get over it fast. It is the only way. And if you think death will be your saviour, think again! The Master will not allow it. Believe me I know first hand. Punishing yourself will not aid anything but give the Master ideas to increase the torture and yet you will still be alive.” Puabi motioned for me to get out of the water once I was cleaned. Puabi motioned her fingers through my hair, “Your hair has to go!” I placed my hand on my head, “No please do not Amy loved my hair!” “More reasons to shave your hair off. This transformation will be your death. Once I am done, you will be reborn. The pain of your loss will take time, but once your training is completed, you will no longer feel the pain. Your purpose … your job will be the only thing you will think of!” Puabi whispered into my ear. I know Puabi was speaking from her personal experience, but she was not me. How could she understand my pain from the past and the present? Puabi made me look in the mirror of the vanity as she started to cut my hair off, chunk by chunk. I let the tears fall down my face as I did not sob once. With each strand of hair that was cut off, I found myself going further into the darkness until I could see no more. I was numb! I could hear Puabi talking to me, but could not respond. I was trapped in my shell of depression. Puabi was taking a blade and shaving off the remaining bits of my hair. I know she was explaining the process of what she was doing. I know I was still breathing, my chest was rising and falling. I could see that Puabi was putting something on my skin to give it a glow, the old me would have loved how shiny my skin looked, but at this point, I could careless. I just glared forward, even when other females entered the bathing room I did not respond nor lowered my head as I had been instructed. When Puabi struck me across the face, my head moved to the left. I did not feel the sting as I should have. I did not even move my head back to the way I had been. It was Puabi who had lowered my head downwards. I was a doll that the handler had to move the parts to. I was nothing! I was dressed and guided back to the female’s quarters. I was placed back on the bed of blankets and left there. Puabi said something that sounded like an order or maybe she was telling me what was going to happen next. I do not know! What I do know is that the only part of me that was moving was my heart, lungs and chest. Females walked past me, some even tried to engage in conversation with me. I glanced up at them and then went back to the darkness at the bottom of my soul. At one point I heard someone mention that I had it bad. I am not sure what they meant by that. I guess I will find out later when I find the light again.*Emma* - Violence They cut my long golden hair! When I realised what the vultures were doing I started to fight them off. In the end, there was one female on each side of me while two bitches started hacking away at my hair. Then they started to shave the remainder of my hair off. At one point the bitch cut me with the blade. All she did was giggle and say that it would heal before I was sold off like cattle. I can not believe this, they are treating me like I am nothing more than a barnyard animal. They would not call me by my name, it was either two hundred and nine or it. Most of the time it was it! The thought that they were trying to dehumanize me to nothing only made me want to fight harder. “Puabi is going to love breaking this one!” I heard one of the females saying while they were laughing. “In the end they all break!” A male had walked into the bathing room. “It is all a matter of how much pain they are willing to go through.” The male stood in front of me with a rope in hand. He hit his other hand roughly, “you can do it one way or the other!” He smiled at me. “Do as you are told or I will tie you up!” “Fuck you!” I hissed at him. The male left the location leaving me with these vultures. I scratched her face when she approached me. Backing away from me. I thought I had won, how wrong I was when Puabi stormed in with two males following her. Grabbing me by the arms I was dragged out of here. The female that I had scratched stormed into the hallway. He started to laugh, glancing over to his accomplice, “Liv, get the tube ready!” He grabbed my right hand and then my left hand. In a split second, my hands were tied and I was being dragged along the floor. I was being dragged in the direction of the inspection room. The first thought to enter my mind was that I was going to be placed in the cell again. I started to flare around, this only caused the male to laugh. “It … You are not the first and you will not be the last female to behave like a sow. Do yourself a favour and shut up!” That only made me scream and flare my legs around even more. For a brief second, I was no longer being dragged but being hulled up over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. I kicked and screamed. He brought his hand up and slapped my arse. The sound echoed off the wall and travelled. “Continue and I will punish it again.” He did not say another thing as he turned left, opening the door he started to descend a flight of stairs. He paused again to open a door. There were four torches to light up the location. I glanced around the room to the best of my ability. This location was a torture room. If I thought the cell was dreadful this was my worst nightmare. Off to the far corner was a tub. Water was filled halfway, and without a bit of care, he toasted me into the tub. My head hit the side, my vision started to go in and out. My hands were tied above my head, “ah good for a second I thought I was going to have to tell the Master I killed his property. That would have earned me one hundred lashes.” I tried to move my hands which ended up being in vain. It only made the male laugh. “human borns are all the same!” He looked me up and down as he licked his lips. I brought my legs up clenching my thighs together. That is when I noticed that the water was only a couple of inches deep. I gave him my death stare, it made me laugh. “It is going to learn to calm that temper down, or it will be back here in no time.” He grabbed a bucket and threw the contents on me. I screeched when I realized the asshole was putting ice cubes on me. “What do you think this is going to do?” His reply was a toothy grin as he toasted another bucket of ice on me. By the time he was finished, my hip was covered in ice cubes. I screamed at him when he started to leave the room. “What do you think this is going to do to me?” I heard the door close as I was left there in the tub alone. The ice was starting to melt causing me to shiver. The water was freezing, this was the point of the tub and ice. They were going to freeze me into submission. Well, the joke was on them it was going to take more than this to break me. I must have passed out, I had woken up to a slap across the face. Puabi was standing over top of me, “has it decided to change her temperament?” I gathered up as much saliva as I could and spit at her. Puabi used the back of her hand to clear my spit off her face. One of the males removed Puabi out of the way and backhanded me. I started to taste my blood as I spit out a tooth. Another male came up to me and placed a mask over my mouth and connected the ends at the top of my head. This stopped me from being able to move my jaw up and down. All of them picked up a bucket of ice and dumped it into the tub. By the time they finished, the tub was filled to the rim with ice, and my whole body minus my head and arms was covered.I thrusted around making some of the ice fall out of the tub. Puabi started to laugh, “add another bucket, Sadragon. If you would be so kind, would you make sure its legs are not able to move!” The male that is named Sadragon started to chuckle, “I already did!” I tried to wiggle my legs only to find out that I could not move them at all. I started to scream which ended up being a muffle. The only part of my body I could move slightly were my shoulders, hands and head. The rest of my body, I could only assume they used their magick to stop my body movement. My rage was at an all-time high, moving my fingers. I gave them the finger. After they finished, they all left me again in the area alone, but this time the torches were put out, leaving me in the dark. Again I passed out after what felt like hours of screaming. “Wake up!” I heard a male voice yelling at me. There was a slap across my face that forced me to open my eyes. In front of me stood Pierre and the male from earlier, Sadragon. For a second a spark of light entered me in the hope that he was here to get me out of this situation. “This is one of your friends?” Sadragon was studying Pierre. Pierre had his arms crossed in front of him, flexing his muscles, “no, she was Markous’s girl!” I noticed what Pierre was wearing, all hopes of getting out of here flushed down the drain. Pierre and Sadragon had the same outfit on. There was only a cloth wrapped around their hips, stopping any eyes from checking out what they were carrying between their legs. “Good!” Sadragon slapped him on the back, “because what we are going to do next …” “I do not harm females unless they deserve it!” Pierre stated. Tears were starting to fall down my face, how could he be part of them? Sadragon placed a hand on Pierre’s shoulder. Pierre took his gaze off of me to Sadragon, “if the Master says we punish her, we do it. If he says we are to sleep with it, we …” “I did not even get aroused when Merna was near me, what makes you think that I would get aroused for her?” Sadragon started to laugh, “there are other things that can be done.” He paused for a second, “check and see if she still has a tempter?” “How do you expect me to do that?” Pierre had one brow up. “Put your hand between her thigh and play with her organ!” Sadragon started to laugh.I tossed my head back and forth praying that Pierre would not do what I think Sadragon was implying. There was no way I was going to allow him to do what Sadragon said. Pierre took one step towards the tub and was aiming his hands at the ice when I started to thrash around. Apparently what magick was holding my body down had been lifted. I started to kick water and ice around. Sadragon placed his hands on Pierre's shoulder, “it still has fight in her, we have to put more ice on it!” Sadragon pointed to the buckets of ice. Pierre dumped the first bucket on me, “I have to say Sadragon, I have done a lot of shitty things in my time. I have slapped a female because she got into my face, trying to push me around. But rape is not a thing for me. You want me to kill her, I will do it! You want me to put her in her place, I will do it. But rape is not something I think I will be able to do!” “Do not allow the Master to find out this is your weakness!” Sadragon grabbed Pierre’s chin. “If he finds out, he will force you to rape a female! He will find the first female you have feelings for, your mother, sister … Merna! And he will make you or you will be punished. He will make you do it over and over again until it does not bother you. Do you understand?” Pierre grabbed another bucket of ice, “what if I do not rise?” Sadragon smiled, “there are other ways!” Pierre dumped the ice on me, “are you going to tell him?” “I will not have to say a thing, the Master will only read my mind or force me to speak.” Sadragon grasped Pierre by the neck and stuck his tongue down Pierre’s throat causing me to gag. “At most he might use Merna against you.” Pierre started to laugh, “if I know Merna well enough, she is already plotting her way out of here. She is … different!” “Merna is just a human born hybrid!” Sadragon dumped that last bucket on me. “Merna can move objects with her mind, I have seen it! She is not like the others, she … different!” Pierre had a smirk on his face. “I think you two would get along once you get over your jealousy!” “Hmm!” Sadragon appeared like he was thinking, “She can move objects with her mind, interesting. Maybe that is why the Master placed her in the room beside him.” He paused for a second, “no that does not make sense, he places mages in the holding cells when he captures them.” “Merna is different!” Pierre reminded Sadragon. Sadragon glared at me, “If you do not lose that temper of yours, Ashur is not gentle and you will not like what he will do to you … no one ever does!” *Pierre* We finished off with Emma, what was done did not settle well with me. I wanted to know more about why she was there. Was she being there worth the crime? She had a mixture of anger and fear. All I could picture in my mind was what if that was Merna! I could never harm her, I would die first before any harm came to her. She is my only weakness that I have brought over into this world. What Sadragon had said about the Master using my dislike for rape as a weakness could be true. The door to the dungeon had been closed. “What are you thinking about mate?” Sadragon asked me as we neared the stairs. I stopped walking, “Do all females you capture go through this process?” Sadragon inhaled, “Only the aggressive ones. If it would put your mind at ease, from what I was told, she started to attack the female serfs as they were getting her ready for training. The emotions are similar, and each of those serfs understand what it is feeling. What is not expected is violence! The Master gives the females a moon to acknowledge the situation they are in, deal with the situation and the Master demands that they get over it.” I thought of Merna, “What happens if they do not?” “The Master will call Ashur or myself to deal with the aggressor and break them into submission. Ashur is more cruel than myself, the majority of the time he is the one the Master calls on. If the Master needs someone killed, I am the first to be called. If the Master wants the death to be slow, he will get Ashur. You will find out soon what the Master will call you on for. Once your training is completed!” Sadragon lightly nudged me to move forward. It crossed my mind, “You will inform him about everything!” “It is my job too, I have no fears that he will keep you, you are special to me as I am special to you.” Sadragon was monotone. I was concerned, “Are you not scared that he would use me against you or the other way around? I know I would if I were him!” I was being serious. Sadragon’s mood lightens up, “That is why he will keep you!” He had his hand on my back as we headed towards our dwelling. “How the Master deals with things, is his way. He gives everyone time to adjust and conform to this life. After your training, you should know better than to disobey. Like a child, they have to learn first how to walk before they can run. It is the same concept with your training.” Still strolling down the hallway. “So … pretty much what you are saying is I have nothing to worry about!” We passed the door to Merna’s room, “From what I heard, she still has not eaten and refuses to comply with the Master.” Sadragon was frowning. I could not help but chuckle, “That is Merna! She is different!”