Merna I could feel the pressure of my powers wanting to be let go. My emotions were running around ramped in my mind. I needed a way to calm down. Since the lake was still too cold for me to swim in, I resorted to the next best thing … A shower! Stepping out of the shower, going over to the mirror, wiping the mirror clean of the condensation, I jumped back at my reflection. Covering my mouth with my hand I stifled a scream. Seconds later there was a wrap on the door, "Is everything all right?" Pierre yelled. Ever since we got back from the woods, Pierre has been suffocating me. Always asking me if I am all right. I was not about to bombard him with the issues of my dreams. I was having difficulties dealing with what I was seeing. I could not tell if what I was seeing were things that I could not tell if they happened in the other time line or if they were a possibility. So I kept everything to myself. "Yeah!" I managed to catch my breath again, "I saw a fucking spider!" I lied, not understanding what was going on. The black mist was getting thicker and more predominant. The more I tried to keep it hidden the stronger it became. The more I practised my skills the more intense it became. BEGGING to be released! I felt caged! I had an overwhelming need to fly! Yet a part of me could hear Mother's voice telling me ‘Hide! Conceal, do not reveal, let no one in!’ Pierre was laughing, "it is only a spider!" Shouting, "These spiders are not the size of a dim ... Here they are big enough to kill you!" Full on laughing, "you will get used to it!" Gaining control over himself, "and they will not kill you! You are cooking on the other hand ..." "Do not finish that sentence!" I warned him. I knew he was making a joke about my ability to cook! Which did not exist! I could hear footsteps retreating from the door as Pierre continued to laugh. Slowly I moved back to the mirror, preparing myself to see the obsidian black mist again. The form of a black bird with glowing sapphire. The bird reminded me of a raven, at least in appearance. I opened my mouth … the bird's beak opened, repeating what I had done. I lifted my right arm … the right wing of the bird did the same. Was this bird my reflection? "What the fuck!" I mouthed. I quickly got myself dressed and went straight to the kitchen, bearing in mind that I would tell Pierre what just happened to me."Eh Sadragon ... you are here ... what is wrong?" I glanced around the place waiting for something to jump out at me! "Nothing horrible is going on!" Pierre glanced at me and then at Sadragon. "Okay, then why are you looking at me as if what you have to say ... I am not going to like it!" Sadragon cleared the back of his throat, handing me a veil, "This is what you requested … and we are going to up security for you!" “Say what?” I set my sight on Pierre, knowing he had said something to have this situation come to pass. I cherished my solitude as much as Pierre did. I was not ready to sell my peace and quiet for someone to be hovering over me all the time. Schooling my emotions was one thing, my facial expression was a whole different thing. I took my feet to our alcohol bar and started to make myself a drink of straight whiskey. Neither of them said a thing as I tipped the liquid into my mouth. Slambing the shot glass down on the counter, "fine but if Kudiya causes me any issues ... I will not be held responsible for the ass whipping he will receive from me!" Sadragon nodded his head once, "there will be no issues! This is only for your protection!" Pierre took a step forward, “Has Kudiya been causing you issues?” Pierre was in big brother mode, “Not this timeline, but …” I did not get to finish my sentence. “What did he do in the other timeline?” Sadragon mimicked Pierre’s temperament and body language. It was cute how those two played big brother for me. At least I knew that no matter what happened I would always have those two in my corner. I explained everything that transpired between Kudiya and I. Huffing out Sadragon confirmed that this would be something Kudiya would do. To be honest I was not pleased at the thought that Kudiya would possibly be around me. As much as I would like to say that I was overreacting, since in this reality Kudiya and I had not been re- introduced. My dislike for him was uncalled for, yet I could not shake the emotions towards him. Nor could I just let go of what Chaos had done to me. I still have yet to figure out how much involvement Ashur had. Huffing out I got myself another glass of whisky, picked up the veil and took it to my room. Before I closed the door I heard Sadragon ask, "Does she do this often?" Replying, "Every time you know who enters her mind ... she starts to drink! It is not a healthy way of dealing with things, but that is Merna's way of handling the issues that she is dealing with." Pierre said. Leaning on the closed door, I could confirm. My drinking had increased. It was easier to be angry and drink than deal with the heart ache. I focused all of this rage and frustration and placed all the blame on Chaos. Who as far as I knew, still had no idea of what was going on. His memories of the events still had not returned. I listened closely as I could still hear the two speaking, "She is dealing with heartbreak!" Sadragon began, "It is never easy to deal with losing someone you love! But to be separated from a mate … it is like you have died as well. At least that is what I have been told. I believe if they would sit down and have a conversation, this could be resolved!" “HA!” Pierre said loudly, “Not Merna … She is now in rage mode! Getting her to sit down and talk with them … You would have an easier time bathing a wild bobcat! Merna needs to get to the next stage … understanding!” “That does not sound like it is going to happen any time soon!” Sadragon sounded as if he was feeling defeated. Walking away from the door, tossing back my drink, I sat the veil down on the stand that was near my bed. Pierre did have a point, I was not going to get over this until I figured out the truth behind what was going on. There was one way that I could start getting some kind of closer. Positioning myself in a comfortable position! With a pad of paper nearby, I began to do remote viewing again. I was not getting much on the line by my dreams. I could not figure out who the spies were through my dreams. It was not a guaranteed way to get things done. Yet sitting around and waiting for the information to land in my hands was getting me nowhere as well. What I found interesting about this is how those I found of interest were sticking close to Ashur and his siblings. I listened for names … when they had been spoken I would write the name down in the hopes I spelled it correctly. One I found of interest, Tizqar! I watched as he wandered the halls, heading to a male. In a secluded location, I could catch some of their conversation. I found out that the mystery man was Gwydlion. The other name that was spoken was Pappavar. A name that sounds familiar, but was not completely sure if it was the same individual. The two spoke about how Tizqar was going to capture me in the upcoming hunt. “Bingo!” I whispered. This information was all I needed to know that they were against Chaos! Chaos might have hurt me greatly … Yet … Until I knew the whole extent of the injustice, I was going to remain loyal in my own way. From afar! It could have been the bond that kept me close by. Or it was the fact that we did cultivate a strong connection in the other timeline. Either way, I had a strong need for him that commanded my loyalty to him. The list of spies and traitors grew. I would put an S near the name if they had been a spy … a T if they were a traitor. By the time I finished with my session, I had two thousand nine hundred and twenty one names. For those that I thought were acting suspiciously, I placed an I beside their name, meaning they were individuals of interest and should not be overlooked. I was going to give the list to Pierre or Sadragon but found the place to be empty. Pulling out the box that held the Medallion, I fouled the pages, intending to give the list to one of the guys later. For insurance purposes, I made a copy for myself.