Alpha Nicholas After a few minutes of reading, my head feels like it's spinning, and I want to throw up. I close the folder as my mind tries to figure everything out. "Did you get what you needed from the information?" For a moment, I'd almost forgotten that Harriot was still in here. "Honestly, I couldn't understand most of it." She nods, seeming to understand what I'm saying. "'The docs used as many medical terms as possible. I believe this is his way of making sure that very few people as possible are able to read the notes and as he's currently the only regular doc on the pack lands and holds the responsibility of keeping the patient's files secure, I imagine he never expected anyone else to find those or more so read them, especially not you, Alpha." "Yeah, I fear you are right. So what can you tell me about this file, Harriot?" "Well, it confirms what we already expected, that he knew about the pregnancy from the very first appointment. His notes state that both Bonnie and the baby appear to be doing fine. The baby is constantly appearing to be right where he should be at each stage of pregnancy during the appointments." "So it's a standard file with standard information based on the pregnancy?" I ask. Harriot nods, seeming to sense my confusion. "It makes no sense. His notes are the same as every other prenatal file, but for some reason, he has made them pretty much unrecognizable to the untrained eye. There has to be more to this because there's no reason for him to do any of this otherwise." "Alpha... did you see the pictures in the file?" "I did, but I couldn't make them out. Why... wait, what are those photos?" "Alpha, they are sonograms. They are scans of your pup." Well, fuck me! "Are you serious?" I know I may sound dumb right now, but I've never seen a sonogram of a baby before, so how am I supposed to know that the pictures in the files are those? We had a sonogram with Harriet earlier, but I haven't seen them yet. With Bonnie so tired, I wanted her to nap first and planned to look at them together with her and Lottie later tonight. "Yes, Alpha," She answers me while giving me a gentle smile. "Would you like to look at them again?" I hesitate for a moment half tempted to do it but then shake my head. "I do, but not without Bonnie. I'll show her after her nap when I try and explain all of this to her." "That sounds like a wonderful idea. I'm going to leave you alone now, Alpha, so that you can take it all in and speak with Luna Bonnie, but if you need help with understanding any of the paperwork, you can call me at any time." "Thank you, Harriet. Thank you for all of your help today. You didn't have to do all that you did, but I am grateful for it. Thanks to you, this information gives us a head start." She offers me a smile as she gets up from her seat and heads for the door, only she stops with her hand resting on the door handle and turns her attention back to me. "May I offer a little advice before I leave Alpha?" "Of course, Harriot." "It's in regards to Luna Bonnie. Well, it applies to both of you. While you may be right about her quietness being related to what has happened with the doc, there could also be more to it. More to it for you as well, you just haven't realized it yet." "Like what?" Her words have me on alert before I even know what she's going to say. "Well, the news of this baby's arrival and so soon is a shock for both of you, and while I understand your need to find out what's going on with the doc, I also want you to take time to let the impact of the news settle in. You may not realize it yet, but it will affect you more than you know, and Luna Bonnie even more so." "Go on." I feel on edge, but I still want to hear all she has to say. "Well, there are a few sides to this situation that will more than likely affect you both. For a start, there's the side to this where neither of you has gotten to experience the pregnancy and everything that comes along with it, and while this will affect you, it will be different for your mate. Yes, she has experienced sickness, but because of the unknown, it has caused unnecessary worry when she should have already known that it was just morning sickness and nothing to worry about. Extra stress when pregnant is not ideal. And the worry to you wouldn't have gone unnoticed. You both should have been experiencing the ups and downs of early pregnancy, but instead, it's been a stressful ordeal. "That is true. It has been a worry." "Putting the sickness aside. The baby is also lying on her back, so she hasn't experienced the joy of growing a bump and everything that comes along with it. Of course, this is out of her control, but it's still something that will be on her mind." "I can understand that." "And it may not have hit you yet, but you too will soon realize that you have also missed out due to Luna Bonnie having no bump." Fuck, the more she talks the more her words hit me like a ton of bricks. Everything she has said is right, it makes sense, and it's nothing that I have even thought of yet. "Throughout pregnancy, a mother bonds with her baby through her bump. Feeling the baby flutter and kick along with admiring her belly and talking to the baby through her bump, the same way that you would also talk to the baby through the bump and also feel the bump." "You too have missed out on a lot and although you will still get to experience those things, the fact of the matter is that you won't get the time to enjoy those moments like you should as you have only a few weeks until the birth and have a world of stuff that needs doing before he is here." I run my hand through my hair as I take in her words and feel an ache in my chest. An ache from what we have missed out on. "I don't want to add any more to your already packed mind, Alpha, but I also don't want you to not think about what you have missed or not allow yourself the time to process it and grieve what should have been. You and Luna both need to take the time to allow that process before getting ready for the next step. I may not be a psychotherapist, but I want you to know that you can come to me any time to talk, and I'll be more than happy to listen. Completely confidential, of course." I nod and thank her, but stop her right before she walks out of my office. "Oh, and Harriot. You are not in any trouble for going into the doc's office and looking for my Luna's files. If anything, I appreciate the effort and risk that you took. We may never have known about this if it wasn't for you." Her face shows instant relief, and she holds on to the door. "Thank you, Alpha. She gives me a small smile as she walks out of my office leaving me with a fuck lot of thoughts running through my head, and while I know she is right about processing everything with the baby and while I will take her advice on board and talk to Bonnie about it there is one thing that's on my to-do list first and that's to end the mother fucking doc of this pack. He's dead, it's as simple as that because no matter what his excuses are going to be, they won't make up for any of what he has done. I don't care what his reason will be. If he were in any kind of trouble, he would have known that he could have come to me, and I would have helped him, but instead, he chose to do this. He chose to mess with my mate and pup, and there's no forgiving that. Not now. Not ever!.