Chapter 31 Enjoying The View, Bestie? “There’s nothing in front of me, Roman,” I said, voice tight. His brow furrowed. “Then why does it feel like I did something wrong?” I leaned against the dresser, knuckles white on the edge. “You didn’t. You did exactly what I asked you to do.” He exhaled slowly. “Then what is it, Sav? Why won’t you look at me? Why do you keep dodging me like I’m contagious? You're ignoring me.” I turned around, clutching my arms like they could hold me together. “Because best friends don’t see each other naked in that way.” Roman blinked. “Sav…” “Best friends,” I cut in, heart in my throat, “don’t bend each other over in the backseat of a car and have the kind of sex that haunts you for days. The kind that we just had. That’s not friendship. That’s something else. And we… we broke it. We’re screwed, Roman.” He didn’t flinch. Didn’t stutter. If anything, he looked... relieved. “We’re not kids anymore, Sav,” he said calmly. “This isn’t high school. We don’t get to freak out over feelings and pretend things didn’t happen. We had sex. Amazing sex. And I’m not about to fall apart over that. You shouldn’t either. We're adults for fuck's sake. Don't expect me to get all weird around you because we fucked, that's never going to happen.” I blinked, stunned by how steady he was. How cool he was about what I was losing my mind over. He took a step closer, his voice lower now. “You’re my best friend. Seeing you naked and bouncing on my dick isn’t going to destroy that. Not unless you let it. I’m not ashamed of what we did—and I’m sure as hell not going to apologize for it. Not now, not ever. We're too old for this, Sav.” Silence stretched between us like a loaded gun. My voice came out smaller than I meant. “So what now?” Roman’s gaze didn’t waver. “Now we stop pretending this one night changed everything… when maybe it just revealed what was already there.” I glanced at him warily, “Which is?” “Don't you see how perfectly we fit? How we matched each other. Tell me you felt that, Sav. We don't just understand each other as best friends. Our bodies do.” My jaw literally dropped. “Are you out of your mind, Roman? Can you listen to yourself?” He just shrugged, “I'm being honest.” “You don’t get to act like this,” I snapped. “You don’t get to touch me like that, make me feel—whatever that was—and then act like we didn’t just do what we weren't supposed to do.” He raised his eyes to me slowly, like he was studying my pulse. “You’re the one acting like it didn’t happen. I’m right here, Sav. I haven’t moved.” I swallowed, throat dry. “You’re still my best friend. And I'm still yours. That doesn’t change. And we shouldn't… do that again.” He didn't tear his eyes away from me, “You're mine. And I never pretended I wasn’t yours.” Somehow his statement sounded unrelated to the conversation. His eyes flashed with something raw and primal. We both just stood there, watching each other. “So… that’s it?” I asked. Roman raised a brow. “What?” “You’re seriously going to stand there like we didn’t just rewrite five years of friendship with your dick?” He tilted his head slightly. “What exactly do you want me to do? Argue? Beg? Pretend I didn’t like having my dick in you thirty minutes ago?” I flinched. “You’re unbelievable.” “And yet you were moaning.” “Roman.” His voice softened, but his eyes didn’t lose that edge. “Savannah.” I dragged myself to the bed and settled miserably on it, feeling my head about to explode. Roman settled beside me. “I'm scared, Roman.” I admitted in a shaky voice. He grabbed my hand, “Of what, love?” I turned to him, my vision blurry. “What if we ruin everything? What if… what if we…” I just let it end there. “Look at me, Sav.” He urged. I did. “I hate when we argue— which we rarely even do. I hate when we fight. But most of all, I hate seeing you sad. If it bothers you so much… if you didn't like what we did as much as I did, then we'll never do it again. We'll genuinely forget it happened. Is that okay?” I shook my head, feeling pathetic at the fact that he was being clear headed and I was a mess. “I didn't hate it, Roman. I… I liked it too.” I struggled to not meet his eye. He smiled. Like, really smiled. Then pulled me into a hug. “Then what's the problem?” “I don't want to lose you.” I admitted. His smile faltered, then his voice lowered, “You won't lose me, love.” We stayed like that, in the hug. His chin was on my head and his hand was running up and down my back. He spoke first. “If it helps you feel better, I've wanted you ever since you stepped out in that bikini. And at the club? I wanted nothing more than to take you right there and then.” I hit his stomach playfully, “I knew you were horny. And you denied it.” He laughed a little. “Do you want me too? Or is it just me?” “Wanting you isn’t the problem, Roman,” I said without turning. “Trusting that what we're getting into won't break us apart is.” That got him. His weight shifted a bit. And he dropped the eye contact. He didn’t answer right away. When he did, his voice dropped. “Then we start small. Don’t shut me out. Don’t run off like I’m the villain in your story.” I was quiet for a moment, pondering over his words. Then turned, arms loosening at my sides. “Fine. No avoiding. No shutting you out.” His expression softened, just a little. “Thank you. Now let's go to bed.” “I need to take a shower first. I need to wash off…” I looked away. “Of course. I'll wait for you in bed.” He offered. ~~~~~~Roman took a shower immediately after I did and came out in nothing but a white towel around his waist. His phone rang on the table and I handed it to him. It was his lawyer, Penny. They were speaking about the Ryan, Alyssa and Emily situation as Roman searched around for his boxers while balancing the phone between his ear and shoulder. Without warning, he dropped the towel, while still on the call, gracing me with a full view of his naked ass. This time, I didn't look away. I didn’t look through a screen. I watched. Boldly. Tonight wasn't the first time I'd seen him naked. Once when he was terribly sick and didn't want to get up from his bed, I had to call in sick at work so I could take care of him. I remember rushing to his house with soup and drugs. He was wrapped completely under the covers and I just pulled it away without thinking. Roman didn't have any clothes on that day and I had to find out the hard way that he never slept with clothes on. We both acted cool about it. No big deal there. But seeing him that day didn't evoke as many feelings as seeing him naked now did. It was different. Things were different now. My nipples turned stiff, brushing against my tank top painfully. My core throbbed and I clenched my thighs together, still watching him. He didn't seem to be in a hurry to dress up. He took his time with the call, pausing every now and then with his hands on his hips. The call finally ended and he turned, handing the phone back to me. I blushed at being caught staring. “Enjoying the view, bestie?” He teased me, wearing his boxers. My heart skipped a beat. I crossed my arms, eyes narrowed. “That's not funny, Roman. Don't make jokes like you didn’t completely destroy the last shred of sanity I was holding onto.” Roman leaned against the nightstand, unbothered. “You’re still talking, so I’m guessing the sanity wasn’t that solid to begin with.”My eyes flared. “God, you are so smug.” “Only when I’m right,” he said smoothly, strolling toward me like he had all the time in the world. “You’re not mad because I caught you. You’re mad because you liked what you saw.” “I didn’t.” He cocked his head. “You're red all over, Sav.” “Out of shock.” “Sure,” he said, voice laced with amusement. “You sounded really shocked earlier when you clenched around me.” I huffed, turning my back to him. “You’re impossible.” He got in the bed, laughing and I turned my back to him, scooting closer to the edge. “Don't do that.” "Do what?" I said. Roman pulled back the covers and slid in like he owned the place. “Run to the edge like it didn’t mean something." "I’m literally just trying to keep your body heat from ruining my life." I muttered. "Too late."I sighed and let him come closer, facing away from him. His arm snaked around my waist immediately. "Roman—" "Shh. Just sleep." His grip was on me was possessive. He pulled me gently against him, his body warm behind mine. I could smell my shampoo on his chest. I stiffened when I felt him—hard, pressed against my ass. His breath was warm against my ear as he nuzzled into the crook of my neck. Then came the kiss. Light. Lingering. Right at the base of my neck, then down to my shoulder. I panicked, not completely trusting myself. “Roman…” It almost sounded like a moan. "Relax," he murmured. "I’m not going to do anything you don’t ask me to." I hated how my body responded. Hated how safe I felt in that moment. And hated that my voice betrayed me when I whispered, "Would you want to... fuck me again?" He paused. I felt it in the stillness of his breath. I could feel it in how the room was suddenly on standstill. "Yes," he said finally. His lips brushed my skin. "But only if you want me to." And God help me, I did.