Arabella Rivera He sighs eyes moving away from me. " I was a stupid kid back then. Am still now." I wait for him to continue, not exactly knowing how to respond to that anyway. " I was always a stupid kid, never listened to my parents. Always creating havoc. I guess deep down all I wanted was my dad's attention. He worked a nine to five job. Never got enough time for me or my mo- Charlotte." He let out a jagged breath. I stay silent, not wanting to disturb him. He looked like he was deep in thought, staring at the sky as if it held all the answers. "I used to pick fights at school just so he'd look at me. I didn't care that he was scowling or that he was saying how disappointed he was in me for striking an innocent kid. I didn't care because for once he'd have his attention on me." Haiden's jaw ticked. "Then I got obsessed with it. The need for his attention was like a drug and there was no rehab, no cure. I got so frustrated when he started to ignore my usual tactics to gain his attention that I would look for other ways that were more extreme. Then it happened." "The day I ruined everything. The weather was bad that day, raining heavily like cats and dogs. It was a real shitty weather." He snorted. "Something happened at school...." He trailed and let out a sigh, shook his head then continued. "I got into trouble and the principal called Charlotte. She couldn't make it. So she called dad. He came." He drew in a shaky breath. "I didn't know who started it first, if it was him or me. All I know is that it was the very first time he ever struck me. I was stunned, I remember clearly going numb without feeling as I run away from the school in all the heavy rain, not caring that he was calling for me to come back. I kept running and running. " His voice cracked. "Then I stopped." Haiden Cross *past* "Son please, get in." Dad pleaded as he rolls down the passenger side window. The rain poured heavily on me, it was so cold and made my clothes cling to me like a second skin. But the throbbing on my cheek was still so hot and raw. I breathed heavily as I continued to walk. I pretend to not hear him as my shoes smacked against the rain on the concrete. "Haiden," Dad called, he makes sure to keep his truck at the same pace as my walk.I stopped. I had run away from the school, thinking he'd not follow me. But I was wrong. He did. "I'm not getting in that truck just so you could strike me again," I said through the pounding of the rain. I knew I should probably get in seeing as the rain didn't seem like it was ready to let up anytime soon. But my wounded pride wouldn't let me. Never had I thought he'd ever strike me. Argue with me, yes, but to raise his hand on me, no. He was as bad as mom. "Haiden, please. We can talk about this in the truck. I don't want you to get sick." He pleaded. I chuckled but without any humor. Why would I have? There was nothing remotely funny about this situation. "Now you care?" I mocked, narrowing my eyes so I could see clearly without tripping. The rain wasn't letting up, just became worst. "You have every right to be mad at me Haiden. I deserve it for striking you. I shouldn't have done that to you. I just- I heard his loud sigh over the pounding of the rain. You'd be a fool to be in such bad weather. But I guess I was now considered a fool. "Please just get in, we'll talk about it. You can throw anything at me just not at my face." He chuckles and I stop. I turn to face him and he flinched when his eyes fall on my throbbing cheek. His eyes shift into regret and worry. "You want to talk about it?" I asked slowly and he shook his head yes quickly. My hands fist at my sides in anger. It took him striking me for him to even acknowledge that I existed. I nodded and walked over to the truck. Getting in, I buckled myself and didn't spare him a glance. He wanted to talk, so he should be the first one to break the ice. "I'm sorry." He sighs as he makes a turn. The heavy rain made it difficult to see properly and the wiper wasn't exactly helping. Dad had to lean forward and with his eyes narrowed he tried to bring us home safely. "Are you?" I asked, turning away from him completely and stared out the window. "Or are you just trying to make yourself feel better? It's fine dad, I know the drill." "What are you talking about Haiden?" I whipped my head to face him quickly and glared at the side of his head. "I'm saying that you and mom never care about me. You'll act like you do, for your little friends. But deep down, you don't even know you have a son. Deep down I am no one to the both of you." He leaves his eyes off the road to spare me a quick glance. "That is not true Haiden- "Save it. I tried so hard to get your attention. Silly me right? Trying to get someone's attention that didn't even care? Well guess what? Never will I want to have your attention again 'dad'. Because honestly, it's kind of sad it took me this long to realize how shitty of a dad you truly are- "Haiden- Feeling my entire body getting strangled by the seat belt felt like the devil had wrapped his hot belt around me. It happened so fast that everything seemed like a huge blur. But all I could remember was seeing my dad's lifeless body getting squashed by a pole. Arabella Rivera *present* "And all I could hear was those fucking stupid words I said to him before we drove into a pole," Haiden says hoarsely. "I'm so sorry Haiden." I croaked out as I watch the despair that set on his handsome face. "What are you sorry for? It's not your fault I was a stupid ignorant eleven year old back then. If I wasn't so hungry for his attention then he'd still be here today. And Charlotte wouldn't have been a widow." "Haiden- He shook his head. "Don't- "No you need to hear this! Because if I don't you'll be still thinking the same way you are now!" I hissed cutting him off. I get that he blames himself and I would be too if I were in his position. But I've been through too much to not realize that Haiden, was only blaming himself because he didn't know who else to blame. "You can tell yourself a hundred or a thousand times that you were the reason for his death. But you know the truth, deep down you know it wasn't your fault. It was just meant to happen at that time, at that exact spot, at that exact moment." "You're frustrated with yourself for not seeing the future. But guess what Haiden, no one sees the future. You can't keep blaming yourself when you know damn well you had no power over what happened. The wheel wasn't in your control Haiden. It wasn't in your hand." ________________After conversing for what felt like hours Haiden and I lie flat down on the comforter. His hand under my head and my body snuggled to his own as we counted the stars. "Hey Bella." He whispered. I hum and lift my head a little to level my eyes with his. I could feel his heart race where I had my palm. "I love you." I held my breath as my heart pounded in my ears. Those three words. The words I never thought I'd ever hear. He said them. Haiden Cross loved me. I smiled, looking into his eyes and hoping he could read how much I loved him too. "I love you," I whispered and his heart rate spikes under my palm.