Arabella Rivera How could I have been so reckless and so caught up in the moment to not realize that he didn't wrap himself? Where was my logical mind when I needed it? Haiden's army could literally be attacking my egg right now. The longer I mop about my dumb decisions about last night, the more I'll be fucked. Although I already was, literally. I swing my bag strap over my shoulder, clutching the black plastic bag at my side as I walk down the stairs a little more carefully than before. I had gotten used to the discomfort between my legs but, it still made me wince every now and then. "Morning." I greeted Gertrude and made a bee-line for the trash. I tried to be sleek but upon hearing my voice Gertrude turns around from washing some glasses and her eyes fall to the bag. There was no one here except her which led me to believe that my parents were not here. At this point, I wasn't at all surprised anymore. "Just some used tampons. Don't want it staying in my bathroom for too long." I shrugged, acting nonchalantly while my heart pounded in my chest. I throw the bag in the trash and walked over to the sink to wash my hands. "Are you okay? You look a little restless. Is this about college? I told you, you don't have to stress about this Arabella-" "I'm fine." I cut her off, avoiding looking at her. Can someone tell when someone just got laid? God, I hoped not. I had plaited my hair in a single braid and let it fall down the middle of my back. My lips were still swollen for sure but the redness eased plenty. I didn't really look like someone who just got fucked now so hopefully, I was in the clear. "I'm just really tired. Stayed up late last night." I murmured. Yeah I did stay up late last night, getting fucked by my infamous neighbor who I should've stayed away from. Gertrude's eyes narrowed before she gives a single nod. "Okay. Just don't stay up too late again tonight, okay?" Her worried voice filters through my ears. I nodded, biting my lip. I turned to her fully. "Hey, can I ask you a favor?" My hands gripped my bag strap a little more firmly. Gertrude wipes her hand on the kitchen towel and looked at me expectedly. "Yeah sure. Anything." God this is embarrassing."Can you borrow me twenty bucks? I promise I'll give it back to you tomorrow." I let out in one breath. I couldn't exactly ask my parents for money since I really needed it at the moment and they were as usual, not here. Gertrude was my plan A. My plan B was waiting for me on the shelf in the supermarket. "Of course Arabella! You don't have to pay me back. Let me just get my bag, wait a moment." She smiles and sets the kitchen towel down on the counter. Gertrude leaves the kitchen and I let out the breath I had been holding tightly in my throat. A couple of seconds later, she enters back with a few bucks in her hands. "Only had it in fives. Hope you don't mind?" I shook my head. "No, it's fine. Just wanted to buy my favorite salad on the way. Kinda spent my last twenty yesterday." I gave out a forced laugh I was hoping she'd not catch on. Lying was coming to me easily now. I guess I was becoming my father's child day by day. She didn't catch on. Handing me the money, she sighs. "Look, about yesterday, I didn't mean to come off so harsh. I just don't want you to get hurt. That boy is proven to cause a lot of trouble Arabella. It's better to stay away from him." I took the money, my stomach twisting uncomfortably as an image of Haiden's head between my thighs emerges in my head. " I know." I whispered. It was already too late. I tear my eyes away from her, the humiliation of doing exactly what everyone warned me not to do made me refuse to look her in the eye. I had gotten myself in too deep with Haiden, turning back now was impossible. Secrets. I was good at those. Just like my parents. No one will know. "Are you sure you're okay? Did your parents do or say anything to you last night? Want to skip school today?" Her worried tone only just added to my dilemma. Why couldn't I have just been the perfect daughter mother and father wanted? Then I wouldn't have this issue swimming inside me, literally. I wouldn't have his presence inside me, I wouldn't miss his taste. I clenched my eyes for a second, cursing myself in my head for thinking about him, again. I blamed it on just losing my virginity. There was a saying that your first time is hard to forget and you usually grow some sort of feelings for the one you lost it to. It was nothing, I'd get over it eventually.At least that's what my head says, my heart wasn't really down for it though. I let out a little laugh and turned away from Gertrude completely and strutted over to the fridge. "I'm completely fine Gertrude. There's nothing to worry about. Besides, if mother or father found out I ever skipped school, I'll be the chicken you'd be cooking for dinner tonight." I also needed to go to school. This way I could get those pills early. Where the hell was Gwen? She said she'd be here in ten. My jaw ticked as a thought came to mind. She could be potentially screwing some dumb jock and maybe just remembered she has to pick me up. This wouldn't be the first time. I opened the fridge and pulled out a green apple. They always tasted better than the red apple in my opinion. "They would never know. It would be our little secret." Gertrude tries to get through me but I wasn't budging. I closed the fridge and bit into the apple. Turning to her I said. "There are already too many secrets in this house. I don't think my brain can take anymore." Taking another bite, I started walking away. "Hey, thanks for the cash. I should get going, Gwen should be here any second." Well she better fucking be. Haiden's babies are swimming inside me right now. As soon as the thought came, a horn blares. "Well, that's her." I laughed dryly. "See you later Gertrude." I waved. "Hey Arabella." I froze and turned around. Gertrude's eyes were swimming with deep worry. I nearly drowned. "You know you can always talk to me, right?" She murmurs, scanning her eyes over my form. I nodded, smiling slightly. "I know." Saying another goodbye, I found myself outside a few seconds later, staring at a very pink convertible with an overly cherry blonde. Don't you dare look. I scold at myself as I strut over to the waving blonde. Don't you dar- My eyes took a quick peek at the Cross's driveway. It was empty. He wasn't here. Disappointment weighed heavy on my chest. I blinked. Was I really about to cry for, him?I bit my lip to force my body to not fall under the emotions. Blinking quickly, I entered the car. "Hey biatch!" I painted on a happy smile on my face and buried my emotions in the depths of my soul. "Hey, thought you forgot about me." Gwen rolled her eyes. "I nearly did. That Roal boy really knew how to get my attention away- I send her an irritated stare. She giggles. "But. You my best friend popped into my mind the last second." She slapped my thigh. I cringed. "I popped in your mind while you were getting off?" She nodded while blowing me a kiss. "Of course. You know I have been wanting to get in your pants for years- "Gwen?" I grumble. "Yeah?" "Shut up." I hissed while rolling my eyes. "Noted." "Can we make a stop at the supermarket before school?" I asked while looking at the car floor in search of any plastic or weed. I breathed out a sigh, it was clear. "Uh sure, I need some potato chips after Roal fucked the breakfast out of me." She starts the car. I groan. Sometimes I wonder how she gets the time to even squeeze in those guys.