Shining Through the Chaos with My Bulldog
Natalie almost laughed. "What kind of sin, exactly?" she asked. "And why is mine lighter?" They had just met. Martha had no idea how many people Natalie had killed or what she had done before. So how could she judge anyone's sins? And who gave her that right? The warm, down-to-earth Martha now looked like a nervous spiritual reader. "All of us are sinners," Martha said solemnly. "The ones without sin are already ascended to paradise. Only people like us—people with sin—were cast down to the human world. This place is the hell from the old stories." Natalie forced herself not to laugh. "Then if this is hell, why was it fine before? Why did disaster suddenly break out?" Martha answered at once, "Because the sins piled up too much. In our generation, they finally exploded!" Her voice grew passionate. "Think about it! We humans were already living in hell, and we still wouldn't behave. We kept committing sins. Of course that made the Skygod angry!" Strangely enough, it did sound logical in its own way. Natalie fell silent. Whoever wanted to believe they were guilty could believe it. As for her, she wasn't guilty. She had always lived by one rule: I kill, I burn things down, but I'm not wrong. Martha could tell Natalie didn't agree. She quickly said, "I know what you're thinking. Everyone is like this at first. No one wants to admit their sins. But one day, you'll understand." She paused, her tone turning gentle. "Since Dawnmother led you here, it means you were chosen. You're lucky. One day, you'll repent like us and be saved." Natalie didn't follow that line of thought. Instead, she asked, "Then what about you? What sins do you have?"Martha sighed deeply. "I have so many. Cursing people. Insulting people. Being greedy. Complaining all the time." Natalie raised an eyebrow. "That many?" Martha nodded. "When I used to fight with my husband, I liked to curse him to go to hell. Later, he really died in a flood. That's my fault. I committed the sin of speaking a curse. "And my daughter—she was slow with homework when she was little. I always called her stupid. Later she really did something foolish. She got tricked by an ugly man and married far away. Guess where? Asnon! That's the other side of the globe." As soon as she said it, she seemed to realize something. She crossed her hands over her chest, looked up at the sky, and whispered, "Blessed be. Please forgive me, goddess, for using bad words." After a moment, she continued talking to Natalie. "And greed. We used to run food stalls. I sold stuffed crepes, and my husband sold hot dogs. We made decent money every month. "But I was always tired. I complained our life wasn't respectable enough. I saw old classmates marry rich and live easy lives, and I blamed my husband. I blamed God. "These are all my sins," she said earnestly. "That's why the Skygod sent down the apocalypse to punish me." From her expression, it was clear she meant every word. Natalie didn't understand. Arguing with your spouse. Yelling at your kid. Wishing you had a better life. Wasn't that just normal life for ordinary people? And for that, the apocalypse? If that were true, then everyone in the world was guilty. Natalie didn't feel like arguing about sin anymore. She asked directly, "You keep saying Dawnmother, then Skygod, then goddess. So what god do you actually believe in?"Martha noticed her impatience and gave her a mildly scolding look. "The goddess is the Dawnmother we believe in. She is the mother of all humankind. The Skygod is the ruler of the universe. He is Dawnmother's husband." Cassian couldn't help muttering, "They're gods, and they still get married?" Martha's eyes went wide. "Watch your mouth, young man! Don't talk nonsense and disrespect the divine!" The moment she said, "Disrespect the divine," the people passing by all turned their heads at once. The gentle, friendly looks from before vanished. What remained were cold, blank faces, staring straight at them. It felt unreal. Like being watched by devils. The sudden change of their expression sent a chill down Natalie's spine. She scanned the crowded street, her body tense. For a second, she wanted to reach for her gun. But she forced herself to stay calm. They hadn't actually done anything wrong. She couldn't just start killing people because they looked at her. Whether because of her past good impression of Yloria or because of how polite these people had been earlier, she didn't want to turn this into a bloodbath. She lifted the corners of her mouth and smiled at Martha. "You misunderstood. My man just speaks plainly. He was only stating a fact. Didn't you say those two gods are married?" Martha stared at her for a few seconds. Then her expression softened. This girl had a good attitude. Much better than those outsiders who came before. Those stubborn ones had cursed them as crazy believers the moment they disagreed—even though they all ended up converting to the Dawnmother in the end.Martha knew the two of them weren't believers yet. Of course they would speak carelessly. She waved her hand. "I get it, I get it. That's on me. I didn't explain it clearly enough."
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