SARAH I don’t know if I’m dead or dreaming, but either way, this mattress is way too firm for my comfort. Also, was I soaked in bleach or something? The smell is so strong, it makes my nostrils twitch. “Berry?” Kevin’s voice slices through the haze in my mind. It’s distant, but I hear it regardless. I fight to open my eyes, but it’s like someone sewed them shut with a fishing line. Still, my lashes flutter, allowing the blinding white lights from the ceiling to penetrate. I hiss, flinching as I shut them immediately. But that singular move is more than enough for Kevin. My best guess is correct; I’m not dead. “Berry! Oh, thank goodness!” My brother appears by my side with a flash. Next thing I know, he’s intertwining all five fingers of my right hand with his, and squeezing hard. “You’re awake,” he breathes out. “You’re back.” I’m tempted to ask him where he thought I was going. Dying at 27, just months before my 28th birthday, has never been on my bingo card. I try to tell him too, but my tongue feels oddly heavy, like a wet pair of wool socks. “You don’t have to say anything,” he continues. “I’ll call the nurse immediately, and…” I grab his wrist as he tries to turn away. It’s sheer instinct at this point. I don’t know the things they’ve pumped into me, but I can’t feel anything from my waist down to my legs. He pauses…or freezes. It’s hard to tell which from those big eyes of his. “I would prefer you don’t call them yet. God only knows what they’ll inject me with again.” I force the words out of my mouth one at a time. I’m not even sure he can hear me. “Sarah…” his eyes start to water, and the next thing I know, my brother is crying up a storm. He wraps his both hands around my neck, burying his teary face into my shoulder blade. A small smile creeps up to my cheek. You might not believe me, but it’s the first time in my life he’s leaning on me. It feels…good. “You have no idea how terrified I’ve been.” “My shoulder is wet. That gives me a pretty good idea.” “Shut up.” “Christ,” I chuckle. “Okay.”He pulls away, bright orbs dance around my face, probably searching for any sign of hurt. “Are you okay, Berry?” I don’t know. Am I? “What did the doctor say?” I ask him. The worry in his eyes deepens into concern. He stands straight, tucking his hands into the side pockets of his black cargo pants. “I don’t know,” he sniffs. Kevin’s eyes are swollen. “I didn’t want to hear anything they had to say until you woke up. When they took you into the ICU, I…” he swallows the rest of his words as his breath hitches. “It was fucking scary, Berry.” My heart aches in my chest. “I’m sorry.” “You don’t have to be.” He moves to sit in the small space beside me. “There’s nothing for you to be sorry about. It’s not your fault.” Well, that’s one thing we both can agree on. Three pairs of eyes flash in my mind: blue, grey, and hazel brown. I blink to erase the thought. “I should go let the guys know you’re awake. Jaxon woke up a few hours ago, and he’s been dying to see you.” Something drops from my chest to my stomach. My heart? Maybe. The anger in my heart? That’s also something. “Don’t.” He narrows his eyes on me. “I don’t understand.” “I don’t seem to see what’s so hard to understand,” I snap at him. “I don’t want them knowing I’m awake. Honestly, I don’t think I want any of them anywhere near me right now.” Kevin stiffens beside me. I know him enough to feel it. “That…that doesn’t…but why?” A bitter scoff rips from my throat. “Are you serious, Kev? You’re the one who asked me to stay as far away from them as I could, remember?” I shoot him a glare. That should help refresh his memory. “This should be your big I-told-you-so moment. You were right. Being with them almost got me killed. I didn’t listen to you, and now I’m paying for it.” “Sarah…” “Actually, what the fuck?” I would throw my arms in the air and laugh at the absurdity of it all, but I’m too tired to move a muscle, so I settle with shaking my head. “I can’t even believe it. It’s so crazy to think that Luke, their crazy as fuck father with a crazy vendetta, was also my stalker?” Again, I look to Kevin. “Can you fucking believe that shit?” Kevin’s shoulders slump. He tears his gaze away from me to the empty space on the wall. I know it’s not funny to be stalked, but the least he can do is indulge me. “Berry, there’s something I have to tell you.” His voice is strangely low and calm, almost scared. My right brow arches up. “Listen, if you’re going to tell me you’re on their side now, it’s a bit too late. The past month or so has been wonderful, but I need a…” “Luke wasn’t your stalker.” He blurts out. Okay, what the hell is going on? I prop my elbow against the hard mattress and slowly pull myself up. Pressing my back and neck against the headboard, I turn to look at him. “And you know that because?” Kevin meets my gaze with teary eyes. He tries to speak, but his lips quiver, stopping him from doing so. Somehow, without a single word, I know. I know the dreadful thing he’s about to confess to. And it hurts. Oh. It fucking hurts. He’s stabbed my chest with his fingers and ripped my heart out. The blood is trickling down his hands, to his elbow, and he’s fucking licked it clean. One word. Only one word manages to express the pain. “No.” I gulp on the bump in my throat, it does fucking go down. “You’re lying.” Tears scorch the sides of my eyelids. “You’re lying. You’re a fucking liar, that’s what you are. He stretches his right hand towards me. “Berry…” I don’t know where I find the energy to slap it away. “Shut up!” My throat hurts when I scream at him. “Shut the fuck up!” I try to breathe. In and out. One breath at a time, but it’s hard. I’m choking on my own fucking air. My nose fails me, so I try with my mouth. God. Sweat pools around my neck and forehead. “What is…” I try to catch my breath. “What is happening here?” “Berry, please.” I close my eyes. “Kevin, I’m going to need you to move away from me. Right now.” “Sarah…” My fingers clutch the bedsheets, and I yell with all the strength I can muster. “Move the fuck away from me!” Finally, he listens. He walks slowly to the three seater sofa, and stands beside it. “Why?” I can’t even look at him. “Why would you…how could you even do that to me?” “I just wanted to keep you safe.” Fuck him. “I really did,” he continues. “I saw that trying to speak to you wasn’t going to work. It was stupid, I know. But I didn’t know what else to do to keep you away.” “Stupid?” My scowl deepens. “You call that stupid? No, Kevin. It wasn’t stupid. That’s the most heartless thing you could have ever done to me! It was twisted, and it was fucked up, and it was hurtful. And it…Fuck.” “Berry, please. I know, okay? And I’m sorry…” “No.” “Sarah?” “Fuck no.” I summon the strength to look at him. “I can’t even look at you right now, Kevin. Of all the people in the world, you were the last person I ever thought would hurt me like this.” Tears fall from his eyes, but it doesn’t move me. He can go cry about it to his best friends. “You’re a fucking hypocrite. If you can do something like that to me, you’re no better than the HawkThornes. In fact…” A bitter chuckle forces its way out of my throat. “You’re worse. I don’t even know why I’m surprised. There’s a reason you’re best friends with them after all.” His throat bobs. He stays silent. Better. I can’t promise not to lose my mind if he says a single word to try to defend himself. “Go, Kevin.” I wave him off and turn to the other side of the room. “I can’t look at you right now.” His footsteps grow fainter as he exits the room. When the door closes behind him, and I’m sure I’m all alone, I pick up the pillow beside me, bury my face into it, and cry bitterly. There’s not a single person I can trust wholeheartedly in my life. My ex-husband, my boyfriends…or ex? I don’t even know what we are anymore, and my brother are all liars. How much more betrayal can I take? How much more do I deserve? “Miss Wellspring?” The unfamiliar voice has me looking up with teary eyes at the door. A lady I assume is my doctor from how she’s dressed, steps into the room with a concerned look on her face. “You don’t seem alright. Perhaps I should return…” “It’s fine.” I cut in, wiping my eyes with my fingers. “I don’t think there’s anything you can say that’ll hurt me more right now.” She presses her lips together, and I laugh. This time, it’s a genuine laughter. She actually has more bad news for me. “I’m really sorry, Miss Wellspring. I need you to understand that we tried our best. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough…” “Wasn’t enough for what?” She sucks in a deep breath. “We lost one of your babies.”