SARAH There’s the man I want to kiss. There’s the man I need to kiss, because if I do kiss the man I really want to kiss, then everything, all the torture I have suffered in the last nine days will be for nothing. I would melt into his arms, and every single soul here would see how much I want him. What’s worse? I wouldn’t stop there. No. I would go over to his brothers and kiss them one after the other. I would tease them in front of every damned person here, make them suffer for making me miss them so much, for daring to move on without me. I can’t risk that. Not when they’re my brother’s best friends, and they’re totally out of limits. Kevin will burn them alive, and make me watch. So, I do the most reasonable thing I can think of. I turn my left to find Julian smiling at me. With my eyes closed, my right hand cups his cheek as I stand on my tiptoes until I’m tall enough to reach for his lips and… “I need to leave.” Ronan’s thick baritone echoes in both of my ears. My head whips around so quickly, my neck cracks a little, but the stinging pain is nothing compared to the ache in my chest. He’s already out of the kitchen. “Dude, the game just started. I know you don’t have anywhere you need to be so badly!” Kevin calls out, laughing as he shakes his head. Malachi taps his shoulder. “We have an early flight tomorrow. We’ll see you around.” He begins to walk away, and Jaxon follows him behind. Kevin sends them a funny look and shakes his head. “Remember, fifty and alone.” Jaxon gives Kevin his middle finger, while Malachi pulls him away. None of them bother to glance in my direction as they walk out. The air in the room is suddenly stale, or non-existent, because I can’t fucking breathe. My feet are rooted to the ground as I gaze at the empty space beside me where Ronan was. Julian puts his hand on my arm and leans into me. “We still have that kiss to do.” I visibly flinch and pull away from him. Something possesses me. Yes. I have definitely been possessed by some evil spirit, because the next thing I know, I’m on my front porch, squeezing a handful of the denim fabric of my jean skirt, and begging them to stop. They don’t. I should leave them. I should turn around, go back in, and kiss Julian. Hell. Maybe even fuck him. I should do anything but go after them. But in my usual self destructive manner, I run down the steps, screaming their names like a maniac. I don’t know where they’re parked because there are no cars around, but I’m determined to reach them before they make it out of my driveway. “Stop!” I’m near tears as I scream. Why won’t they listen? “I said, stop!” It’s Ronan’s hand I catch. My fingers squeeze around his right wrist. It won’t take much effort to wriggle free of my grip, but it doesn’t matter. He grows cold–ice cold underneath my touch. Malachi and Jaxon stop walking as well, and it feels like hours before they finally turn to me. Ronan’s blue eyes lock on mine. His lips are twisted in a dangerous frown that sends shivers down my spine. “What do you want, Sarah?” My eyes widen. I let go of his hand, and wipe the sweat from my forehead. A sour chuckle tears through my throat as I comb my left hand down the length of my hair. Frustrated. “What do I want?” I stare back at him. He’s not the only one with a death glare that can freeze men. “What do you want?” I throw the question back at him, at all of them. “You’re the one who’s here. You guys are the ones who came to my party despite knowing how things…how things ended between us. So no, Ronan. The question here should be what do you want? What do you want from me?” Malachi hisses, kissing his teeth loudly. “You were going to kiss that man, Sarah. You were going to kiss him when Ronan was right there. You were going to make us watch that.” “What…?” I suck in a deep breath. My heart is racing so fast, even my brain can’t keep up. “What did you expect me to do? Kevin was right there!” “That’s been your excuse from day one,” Jaxon cuts in. “And frankly, we’re tired of it. So this is us asking you one last time Sarah Wellspring, because God forbid your cowardice becomes the end of us,” I blink twice as he takes two steps forward. “What do you want?” The question lingers in my mind, echoing in my head over and over again. What do I want? My jaw clenches, hands roll into fists. Fine. I’ll tell them what I want. “I want to know what the three of you fucking want from me, okay? I am tired, so fucking tired of not knowing what goes on in your head, because it’s killing me,” Go on, Sarah. I can do it. I can tell them to their faces. I won’t run away. I won’t cower. I’ll just…just say it, because I’m so tired of masking my feelings. “You don’t know what the constant guessing games I play in my head does to me, how it tortures me,” “I want to know what you want from me, cause that’s the only way I can tell you what I really want, because if we don’t want the same thing, I…” Jaxon’s gaze softens. His chest rises and falls as he sucks in a deep breath. Malachi’s stare pierces through me as always. He doesn’t need to say anything. I can almost hear his thoughts. And Ronan? His eyes are plain, blank, any word that can be used to describe empty. “I don’t know what I’ll do.” I’m calmer now. The anger and frustration are gone, and all I’m left with are my true feelings…for them. “You three, this thing we have…or had…it’s new to me. I’ve been through a lot with Aaron and I…I’m scared,” “You consume in a way that I’ve never ever felt before. You make me do things, feel things, want things that are sometimes overwhelming, but leave me only wanting more,” “I don’t have control over anything when it comes to you three. And what’s worse? You three…you actually make me happy.” “You say it like it’s a bad thing.” Ronan finally speaks up. It makes me so happy. I laugh, a single tear rushing down my right cheek. “I don’t trust happiness.” “You don’t trust us.” Malachi says, as if to correct me. God. Do I say the truth? It could change everything. I don’t know what they’ll say. I don’t know what they’ll think.But isn’t it better if I scratch this once and for all? Rip the bandaid out now, so that it hurts once, and I can heal once? I let my eyes carefully study the three of them. It might be the last time I see them physically, especially after what I’m about to say. I wait until I’m ready to watch them walk away from me before I shake my head. “No,” I hear Ronan’s breath hitch in his throat. “Not yet.” I conclude. A sad smile spreads across Jaxon’s lips, and he turns to look at each of his brothers, one after the other. “I guess that settles it then.” Ronan walks to me, eliminating whatever distance exists between us. My heart pounds against the muscular walls of my chest. I do not expect him to want to come closer. He’s supposed to want to walk away from me, not towards me. But he doesn’t go away. He spreads his arms open for a hug. “Come here, kitten.” I’m sorry. I can’t do it anymore. There’s no fighting power left in me. With tears in my eyes, I fling myself into his arms. My hands are too short to go around his broad body, but I squeeze every bit of him I can get. “You’re right about many things, kitten.” He speaks softly, and for a second, I wonder where the blank faced man disappeared into. Sniffing, I look up at him with my teary eyes. “I am?” “Yes.” It’s Malachi who replies. He’s behind me, combing my hair with his fingers. Jaxon inches closer and kisses the right side of my forehead. I’m right outside my house where Kevin is, where I can be watched from the street, but I don’t care. “We can be a lot. We are a lot, and we know it. It’s okay if you’re not ready for that yet with everything you’ve had to go through. But baby,” Ronan replies, as reaches for my chin and brushes my jaw with his thumb. I swallow the sweet, tasty lump in my throat. My heart slowly melts away with every gentle stroke. “We want you. Your body, heart, and soul. That’s what we want.” “Ronan, I…”“We want to give you everything you desire.” Malachi cuts in. “And we want you to take it.” Jaxon adds. “I…I don’t know what to say. I mean, there’s Kevin. He won’t be very happy about this.” Ronan smiles. He smiles. “No, he certainly would not be. That’s a hurdle we will have to cross, but only when you’re ready,” “Take your time, baby.” He leans in and presses a gentle kiss on my lips. My heart almost explodes out of my chest. When he pulls away, my cheeks are burning up. “We’ll be here when you’re ready.” With that, they pull away from me, turn their backs, and leave. I watch them disappear into the street, before I turn towards the house. I freeze on the spot, eyes locked on the man standing on my front porch with his hands tucked in his pockets, and a warning in his eyes.