SARAH Pain shoots from my chest, all the way to my stomach. It’s really hard, but I look away from him and swallow the lump that forms in my throat while fighting the tears that sting the corners of my eyes. Don’t you dare cry, Sarah. Don’t you dare fucking cry. I shouldn’t. I know I fucking shouldn’t, but my eyes lock with his again. Ronan’s electric blue orbs are gentle, patient, like he’s waiting for me to come to him, to say something. I bite my lip, urging myself to shut the fuck up. Can he…can he really not see? Can he truly not see how they’re slowly putting back every broken piece of me? Can he truly not see that I’m… That I’m… I sniff in again and shake my head, trying–and failing–to be unbothered by the silence that’s stretched long between us. He’s not urging or rushing me to speak. I’m torn between being grateful for it and hating him for being so considerate. I want him to bark at me, scream at me, call me an ungrateful wrench for not appreciating everything they’ve done for me. Why? Why won’t he tell me exactly what he thinks–really thinks–of me? Ronan sits up. He spreads both hands open on his thighs. I look down at his big strong arms, and a gentle warmth creeps up my spine. “I’m here, baby,” his voice is gentle, sweet. His eyes are beckoning on me. I hate him for it. I can’t let myself fall again. I made that mistake with Aaron, and he tore me into shreds. I was strong enough to hold my own and not break, because deep down, I knew that whatever I might have felt for Aaron is a pale joke in comparison to the feelings that burn brightly in my chest whenever they’re around me, whenever they look at me, whenever they touch me. I would crash and burn and never recover if they hurt me. No. WHEN they hurt me. I have to keep myself safe no matter what. Unfortunately, Ronan rises from the stool and takes a step towards me. I look away from him and move backwards until my waist crashes against the wooden counter. Shit. I turn backwards to find the kitchen sink behind me. He’s in front of me, conquering my space and eliminating my ability to breathe all of a sudden. I fight to keep my eyes on him. I can’t let him see how he affects me. If I look away, he wins. If he wins, I risk being torn apart. Ronan’s hands push against the counter behind me, trapping me in front of him. My heart pounds viciously against my chest. “Sarah,” his voice breaks. There’s a frustration behind the plea in his eyes. Like there is so much he wants to say, but cannot seem to imagine how to begin. Shame. Me too. “I am trying really hard to understand you, baby. Really hard. We all are. But you’re making it so difficult.” He pauses abruptly. Ronan raises his head to the ceiling, and my gaze traces the outline of his long neck, to his throat, to the big broad shoulders his painfully handsome face sits perfectly on. When he looks down at me again, his eyes are… Wet? Confused, my brows furrow. “Are you alright?” I ask him, reaching for his right cheek. Ronan shakes his head. “No. No I’m not.” I drop my hand. “I don’t know what else to do, Sarah. I do not know how else to make you understand that we are here, we want to be here for you. Why do you keep running away from us, baby? Why?” Fuck. My tears are burning even hotter as my eyes dance around his face. I’ve never seen him look so lost, never heard him sound so hurt. Am I doing this? Am I hurting him? “I don’t know…I don’t know what to say, Ronan.”“You don’t have to know what to say, Sarah. You just have to say what you’re thinking. Tell me. Tell me what it is you’re feeling that makes you think we’re a threat.” He inches closer and I feel my heart jump to my throat. I can’t breathe. I can’t even sniff in the air without taking in the intoxicating scent of his cologne. “I’m not running.” “Liar.” He spits out. I frown at him. “What did you just call me?” Pick a fight, Sarah. Pick a fight so he gets angry and lets you leave. “You’re a liar, Sarah.” Frustrated, he moves away from me and runs his hand down his hair. His jaw is clenched. Hard. And his eyes roam around, never settling on anything, not even me. I let out a bitter chuckle. “So you’re calling me names now?” “No,” he zeroes his gaze on me, bold and unrelenting. “I am telling you the truth.” It’s his turn to chuckle. The sound sends a deep sense of dread from my stomach to my chest. It squeezes my heart, threatens to tear it apart. Why is this happening to me? “You say you’re not running, but that’s all you’ve done since you came into our lives. You let us have you, baby. You gave us a night we still haven’t been able to get over, and what did you try to do in the morning?” “Ronan.” I squeeze the sides of my skirt. His eyes are wide open, as though he’s challenging me to defend myself. But I can’t. I cannot, because he’s right. “Run.” The word leaves his lips laced with venom. “And the other time I came to you, offering you a hand to come with me, to leave the bastard who didn’t have the decency to keep his dick in his pants in front of you. What did you do, baby?” I do not respond, and he kisses his teeth. Disappointment is etched in his eyes before he looks away from me. “You bloody ran, Sarah. That’s what you did. And when he tried to blackmail you and we came to you, begged you to take our hand and let us be there for you. What did you do?” My chest rises and falls as I gasp for air. Why is he sounding like this? Why is he sounding so hurt? I’m the one who should be hurt. I’m the one who’s nothing but a sex toy for them. I’m the one who’ll never be enough for anyone. Not him. Not them. “I don’t know what to do to stop you from running anymore. I don’t know what we have to do, or how much longer we have to chase.” “Ronan,” My tears rush down my cheeks, soaking my makeup. I look like a mess, I feel like a mess. He’s pacing about with both hands in his hair, and my heart shatters even more. Fuck! Why does everything about me have to be so difficult? He stops on his tracks and turns to me again. My heart skips three beats at once. “What do you want from us, Sarah? What do we have to do? What do we have to say? Tell me.” He starts to walk towards me, and everything in my mind and my blood commands me to run. They’re not good for me. I want them too much. I need them too much. “I want you to stay away from me.” I spit out. Yes. I lie through my fucking teeth. Ronan freezes in front of me. The light in his eyes slowly dies. He tucks both hands into his pocket and stares down at me. Every emotion, every single feeling, every bit of shimmer that existed in those ocean blue orbs disappears immediately. It feels like I’ve blown out a candle. Like I’ve detonated a bomb about to explode. He’s quiet. There’s nothing but cold, painful, uncomfortably silence between us. At that very moment, I know I’ve made a mistake. I know I’ve done something…said something that I would never be able to take back. It’s the right thing to do, right? How much longer until they get bored of me? A week? Two weeks? Perhaps a couple of months max. They’re just pussy whipped, aroused by my innocence and naivety. When I finally embrace who they are and the things they make me feel, they won’t want me anymore. This–breaking their hearts if they have any, and breaking mine in the process is the best way this can end. It’s better now than later. And he knows it too, because Ronan lifts head to suck in a deep breath, scratches his chin with his left thumb, smiles, and looks down at me again. For the last time that night. “I’ll have a driver drop you at the airport tomorrow morning.”I can hear my heart shatter into pieces, I can feel the shards pierce the walls of my chest. My hands roll into tight fists, fingernails digging into the flesh of my palm. God. It hurts so fucking much. “I can go on my own.” Yes. That’s me. Stubborn till the very end. He frowns, and I know better than to push his buttons further. “Not on my fucking watch. You came here on our jet, and you’ll leave on our jet. Have I made myself explicitly clear?” God. He’s so angry. When I do not speak, he scoffs and turns his back to me. I want to reach for him, to run, throw my arms around him and apologize for everything I’ve said in the last ten minutes. But I don’t. I watch him walk away from me, knowing I’ve made the worst mistake of my life, second only to marrying Aaron.