SARAH Ronan looks up with his keen, blue eyes shining with curiosity. He stretches his hand out, calling for me. “Here, baby,” he taps the empty space on the couch between him and his brothers. “Come sit with us.” We’re all sitting on the couch now. I stay perched on the edge just in case I need to run at any moment, you know, to escape the conversation, and they’re arranged around me. Ronan to my left, as solid and quiet as always. Malachi to my right, close enough that I can feel the warmth radiating off him. Jaxon moves to the center table directly in front of me, elbows on his knees, and keeps his eyes glued on my face. I hate how exposed I feel right now, but it’s them…it’s worth it. “Okay,” I say, and my voice sounds too loud in the quiet room. “So. I’ve been thinking a lot, alright? And we need to talk about…” shit. Why is it so heavy to say? “Our plans for the future.” “We’re listening,” Malachi says gently, reaching for my hand. I take a breath. Then another. My hands are shaking, so I clasp them together in my lap, squeezing until my knuckles go white. “I need to know what this is. What we are. Because right now, I’m sitting here pregnant with your children, and I don’t…” My voice cracks. “I don’t know if you want me or if you just want them. And I don’t even know what that looks like; wanting me and them.” The silence that follows is deafening. “Sarah…” Jaxon starts, but I shake my head violently. “No, let me finish. Please.” I force myself to look at them, even though it feels like peeling back the skin of my neck. “With Aaron, he knew what in wanted the most and he used it against me—” I swallow hard, “And I know you’re not him. I know that. But I can’t stop this voice in my head saying that this is something you’re going to get tired of in the long run.” “That’s not true, Sa…” Malachi’s voice is strained. “I’m not done.” My hands are shaking harder now. “What is the end game? You talk about being a family, but I don’t understand what that looks like,” the words are flowing now, easier than before. They listen in silence, and the understanding on their faces gives me the courage to go ahead, to say the truth, to be myself. “Are you planning to hide me? Hide us? Because I can’t put myself through one more painful experience again.” I’m crying now, hot tears tracking down my cheeks, and for the first time in a long while, I don’t hate it. “But I also need to be realistic,” I continue. Hearing the sound of my own voice breaking makes my stomach churn. However, my men don’t judge me. They sit quietly, the calm in my storm. “Because what we have? The four of us? People don't do this. It’s not normal. I have no idea if it’s acceptable. And I keep thinking about what happens when the world finds out. When people start talking, judging, making your lives harder because of me. When you realize that being with me means losing respect, losing opportunities, being the tabloids, news…” “Alright, kitten. I’m going to stop you right there.” Ronan’s voice is low, almost a strained growl. “Just stop.” “I can’t stop,” I whisper. “Because I need to know if you’re going to wake up one day and resent me for it. Resent me for making your lives complicated, for not being enough, for being too much—” My breath hitches. “Aaron always said I was too much. Too emotional, too needy, too broken. And maybe he was right because I can’t even have this conversation without falling apart…” “Sarah.” Jaxon slides off the center table and onto his knees in front of me, his hands hovering like he wants to touch me but isn’t sure if he should. “Breathe. Just breathe for us, baby.” I shake my head. “I need answers, Jay. I need to know if—” Another sob catches in my throat. “If you’re going to get tired of me. If one day you’ll look at me the way he did. I can’t survive being unwanted again.” “You’re not unwanted.” Malachi’s voice is thick with emotion: some of it confusion, but a huge part is pain. “Fuck it, Sarah. Do you not know what you mean to us? What we will do for you?” I know. Fuck. I know. But in times like this, I don’t believe it…myself. The room goes completely silent except for my ragged breathing. Then Jaxon speaks as his trembling hands caress mine. His lips spread into a pained smile as he shakes his head. “That son of a bitch really did a number on you, didn’t he?” I flinch, looking away from him. “No—Sarah, look at me.” He waits until I meet his eyes. They’re blazing with an intensity that should scare me but doesn’t. “You want us to tell you how we really feel? Here it is: We’re so fucking in love with you that it terrifies us. Not because you’re too much—because we’re afraid I’m not enough. I’m afraid I can’t give you what you need, can’t fix the damage he did, can’t make you believe that you are the most important thing in my life.” “Jay….” “No, baby. You had your time to speak, now you’re going to give us ours.”