RENEE "It’d be in your best interests if you left, Robert. She isn't interested in seeing you." I pressed my ear to the bedroom door, my chest tightening as Nicole and Robert's spat grew louder with each word. The argument had begun a few minutes ago when Robert arrived and, luckily for me, Nicole answered the door. He’d demanded to see me, wanting to talk, and she’d flatly refused. Then he'd tried to explain that he was here to apologize and make amends, but Nicole wasn’t budging. She was hurt and angry on my behalf, and rightfully so. "I won't. I'm not leaving until Renee tells me she doesn't want to see me herself.” Robert spoke up, his voice firm, persistent, and determined. "I'm sorry to disappoint you, but she won't. Leave, Robert. I'm doing my best not to be impolite here." "Nicole, please stop making this so difficult." He begged, sounding so desperate that my heart ached for a split second. Nicole made a noise of disgust. "I shouldn't make this difficult. Says the man who’s made my best friend's life a living hell. After all the humiliation she's endured and the damage this scandal has caused, you dare to say I’m making this hard. You should be ashamed of yourself!" "God, Nicole! I know I messed up. Worse than I could’ve imagined. If I could turn back the hands of time, I would. But I can't. So, please..." His voice broke, and he pleaded, "Let me see her." My heart twisted painfully hearing how defeated and broken he sounded. My eyes started to burn, and I blinked away tears. I should stop listening. If I knew what was good for me, I'd have dragged my shaky feet back to bed, grabbed my AirPods, and blocked their voices, hoping Robert would heed Nicole's warnings and leave. But I didn't move an inch. I remained rooted to the spot, my lips quivering and tears welling up at the sides of my eyes. "All I want to do is see her. I want to stroke her strawberry blonde hair and tell her everything will be fine. I haven't seen or spoken to her since Saturday night, and it's driving me crazy. I'm not sleeping. I can't eat. I can't think clearly. This… it’s… it's unbearable for me. You might not believe me when I say I've been sobbing. Nicole, please just let me see my girl. Please help me." Robert's words slashed through my heart like shards of glass, and the tears welling up in my eyes fell silently down my cheeks. It was excruciating. This pain. It was unbearable, and it felt like a million tiny needles dug into my heart and ripped it apart. “No! No!” I mumbled, my voice cracking as I began wiping my tear-stained face with shaky hands. This couldn't go on forever. I needed to face him, so I stepped forward, hand on the doorknob, as if on instinct. 'Renee, what do you think you're doing?' The voice in my head asked. 'Have you forgotten the humiliation? The fact that you lost your job yesterday because of him. Or should I remind you that Dylan, your ex-boyfriend, is his son? Think, young lady. There will be no turning back once you step out that door!' The voice warned me, and I stumbled slightly, my hands leaving the knob. It was so tempting. I desperately wanted to listen to the voice in my head and walk away from the door. Ignore Robert's heartbreaking pleas and stay in the room. But what would happen then? If I don't talk to him now and give him a piece of my mind, when will I? When would I find the strength and courage to do it? I ignored my inner voice and stepped toward the door with all these questions weighing heavy on my chest. My hand reaching out of its own accord, I grabbed the doorknob. Turning it swiftly, I flung it open and stumbled into the tiny living room. Immediately, Robert’s tall, muscular frame flooded my sight line. His face was flushed red from anger or frustration—I wasn't sure which— and he appeared completely out of breath, with his hands clasped together. His jaw dropped open when his gaze locked on mine, and he uttered a single word, his voice barely audible. “Renee…” “Renee!” Nicole gasped, turning to stare at me. "What are you doing? I thought we agreed you'd stay in the room?" I opened my mouth to speak but found myself speechless. Instead, I just stared at Robert, taking in his features. He looked… different. With messy hair and dark circles under his eyes, he looked like he hadn’t slept in days. He was growing a rough stubble on his face, which only served to emphasize how pale and gaunt he appeared. And what about his clothes? His suit was rumpled and creased, and his tie was loose around his neck and hanging limply over his collarbone. Robert looked like a mess. This powerful and captivating man I'd fallen in love with had been reduced to a complete wreck. For a split second, I refused to believe what I was seeing. But it was true. So, fucking true. He was going through a lot, just like me, and the realization made my chest tighten irreversibly, but not in pity. “Renee.” He called out, this time louder, and it jolted me out of my assessing trance. Suddenly a wave of rage surged through me, and I crossed the room, walking straight to him. But before I could reach him, Nicole blocked my path, eyeing me with concern. “Renee. Go back. I will handle this. You don't have to do or say a thing against your will. Don't give him that satisfaction." Her gentle voice was soft and understanding, and for a split second, I felt like crying again. "No, Nicole. I need to speak with him. This is something I must do. I…I—” I stuttered, and she cut in before I could finish. "Renee, let me take care of this. Please.” For a minute, I hesitated, torn between giving in to Nicole or staying true to myself and going through with this. The latter won. Squaring my shoulders, I looked at my best friend and said, albeit defiantly, "I'll be fine. I can handle this. Give us some privacy, please.” The look on her face told me she didn’t like my decision. But she didn’t argue and stepped aside with a resigned sigh. She gave me a small, sad smile as she lightly squeezed my shoulder. "You got this.” She whispered. With that last encouragement, she left the room. I whipped my face toward Robert when the door behind me clicked shut, looking directly into his once bright blue eyes. They now stared at me, darkened into an icy stormy gray, full of emotions I couldn't put a name to. Was it shame? Pain? Fear? Regret? Well, fuck him! Fuck whatever he was feeling! He deserved to be miserable after all the shit he put me through in just three days and still counting. “Renee. I missed you so much.” He breathed out, saying his first words since Nicole left, breaking the icy silence brewing between us. His lips quivered, and I could see tears pool at the corner of his eyes. “I finally see you after Saturday, and it feels like a dream. I don’t deserve it, I know. I’m not worthy of your presence….” He trailed off, his voice hoarse as he took a tentative step toward me. The pain in his voice... God, I could hear it clear as day. I felt it vibrating through my bones, and it was too much. It made me want to forget everything that’d happened and pull him into a hug. Breathe in his scent, which I craved, and tell him never to leave me again. Tell him that I adored him more than anything else in the world. Tell him that I’d forgive him. Tell him I was ready to forget everything and be by his side, regardless of what the media thought about our relationship. “No, no….” I muttered to myself, eyes closing as I tried to fight the tears threatening to fall in torrents. A whimper escaped my throat and as my eyes remained tightly shut, flashbacks assaulted me. They didn’t revolve around our happy times. Instead, it was memories of when Robert had caused me pain. From our first spat on the yacht, to the fateful night I discovered he was married and my entire world had come crashing down. Then the revelation that Dylan was his son. And the paparazzi too slut shaming, and calling me a gold digger, amongst other vile things. “Dammit!” I screeched and my eyes shot open. He was in front of me. Robert stood before me. I could practically inhale the masculine fragrance emanatinged from him and I gasped as I realized how close we were. He slowly reached out to touch me, fingertips brushing softly along my cheek. A low moan slipped through his lips, and my heart rate picked up its pace. This shouldn’t be happening. It wasn't right, but I didn't dare move an inch, my body betraying me. “God, Renee…” He groaned, his fingers wiping at the tears falling down my face. “Seeing you in this broken state. Seeing you crying. It’s killing me. Fuck, I’ll never forgive myself for causing you this pain. But I’m sorry. So, so sorry….” When I said nothing, he continued, “I’m dying inside. Stop crying. These tears…they’re killing me. I… I can’t fucking take it. Renee, please.” He pled, still stroking my cheeks with shaky hands. The atmosphere was suffocating—thick, heavy, and tense. Like a dark cloud hanging over us, pressing down and crushing us. Robert broke the silence again. “Please, baby girl, say something." Baby girl? How lovely. He thought he could still use endearments to make me fold. Sweet words that’d cause butterflies to erupt in my belly and make my knees curl. Well, not anymore. And I was about to show him that. I took a step back, and his hands on my face dropped. He frowned, letting out a pained hiss that I heard clearly. “Why?” I blurted out the one-word question, my lips quivering. His brow furrowed in question, and hesitantly he added, "What are you asking me?" Fists clenched, I decided to elaborate. My tone remained harsh and emotionless, and not allowing a single ounce of weakness to leak through, I asked. "Why didn't you talk to me?" "I don't understand, Renee. Are you saying I didn't talk to you? For fuck's sake, I'm trying to talk to you right now and have been for a few days. I've called, texted, and left voicemails, but—” "Oh, shut it!" I yelled angrily, interrupting him. He blinked, taken aback by my sudden outburst. The air was thick with tension, the silence heavy, and a rush of wind blew my hair wildly around, making the curtains flutter loudly too. Robert looked at me with wide, imploring eyes, waiting for me to continue, which I did, though my resolve was weaker. The rugged exterior I'd put up was eroding, and I now felt frail. Exhausted. Vulnerable. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry because I was tired. But, most importantly, I needed to get away from this man—this I finally realized. I wanted him gone. I wanted this nightmare to end and for me to be alone at home where nothing and no one could ever hurt me again. Not the press. Not Robert. Not Dylan. This reconciliation he so desired, he wasn't going to get. "You say you don’t understand what I'm saying or what I'm asking, but you do!" I began with a sniff, my voice trembling. “You absolutely do!"