Bonnie Boy, has it been a day! A very long, emotionally draining day, but I'm oddly kind of glad that it happened. Of course, hearing Lottie talk to me about how she felt and taking in the words that she said and the meaning behind it all was heartbreaking, but I do believe that having her talk to Nick and me about how she's been feeling was a good thing. One because it explains why she said all of the things that she did and two because maybe now that she has finally said everything out loud, it will help her too because she had a lot of thoughts and feelings and while some of them are a result from the pain that her birth mom has caused her during her life, some of them also just resembled an act of a jealous teenage girl. The quicker she learns that she isn't going to be replaced or forgotten or lose me or this baby the better because I hate to think of her suffering like that. And while I can't promise that nothing won't happen to the baby, I can promise that I will do everything possible to keep the little bean healthy until she or he comes to join our family. After the emotional hour that we spent with Lottie, Nick insisted that I take a bath while he sorted some things out, which meant he hid Lottie's phone away. Talking about Lottie's phone… goddess, was she devastated when Nick told her what her punishment was going to be. While all of her punishments may seem petty to some people or stupid even, to Lottie, losing the stuff that she has feels like the end of her world, and hopefully, it will be enough to teach her that what she did or more how she handled it were wrong and shouldn't be repeated. The moment my mate stepped into the bathroom, I knew that he was going to join me in the bath. It's become something that he does often, especially after a hard day, but what I wasn't expecting was for the conversation to go in the direction that it did. And while I get why he's checking in on me and I appreciate my mate worrying about me, he doesn't need to. I wasn't lying when I told him that I was doing good. Don't get me wrong, I'm not fully over the ordeal of what I went through growing up or what happened with my dad, brother and sister after I got here, and I'm not sure if I ever will, but I'm pretty dammed happy with how I'm doing. Each week does get easier, and even if it doesn't get any easier from here on out, I'm ok with it because how I feel now is manageable. Most days, the horrors of my past are even forgettable. "Have I told you today how much I love you?" Nick's gravelly voice pulls me out of my head and back to reality where we're both in the bathtub together, and I'm sitting on his lap, straddling him. One of my favourite places to be. "You have, but I don't mind hearing it again." His grin at my answer is cheeky and sexy all at the same time and makes my insides tingle. "Well, that's a good thing then because you should hear it more than once a day, and I want to tell you more than once a day too. " He slowly runs his strong hands up and down my arms, causing the sparks from our bond to drive me insane. "I love you, Bonine." He places a kiss on my left cheek. "I love you, my mate." He places a kiss on my right cheek. "I love you, my Luna." He places a kiss on the tip of my nose. Both his words and actions make me smile. " Although I'm not technically your Luna, I still love hearing those words out of your mouth. And I feel the same way." "I love you, Nick." I return him with a kiss on his left cheek. "I love you, my mate." Next, I place a kiss on his right cheek. "I love you, my Alpha." Lastly, I place a kiss on the tip of his nose, making him smile. "I never knew the mate bond could feel like this. Never thought I would get to experience it, but I'm so glad that I have and that it's with you." He leans into me and places a feather-light kiss on my lips, making my heart flutter. "First of all, I don't care about technicality. No, you may not officially be the Luna of this pack yet, but you will be, and soon, and besides, you are already the Luna of this pack in every way that counts. The ceremony is just a formality. You're already a Luna, and an incredible one at that." "And secondly, I feel the same, Sweetheart. As you already know, after everything that happened with Lottie's mom, I never wanted my mate. I was so clouded by the hurt that she caused that I never wanted to risk hurt like that again. I know we weren't in a relationship, but the hurt... and then I met you.""Fuck, the night I met you changed every single thought and feeling that I have ever had when it comes to the idea of my mate. . I fought it, goddess did I fight it, but even while I was fighting it, deep down I knew that, that night not only changed every single thought and feelings that I had when it came to the idea of my mate but it also changed my life." "Once I had gotten over my stupid asshole ways I wanted to kick myself forever trying to stop our bond. I was an idiot to try and stop fate but fuck, am I glad that I didn't leave it too late, that you were so amazing and willing to give me another chance." Most of what he is saying I've heard before, but some I haven't, and it melts my heart. "I love how honest you are with me." He runs his hand through my hair, and I lean into his touch as he places another kiss on my lips. "I know we didn't have the best of starts, but I promise that I will never lie to you, no matter what the situation is." I smile and nod, hoping that he can see the appreciation that I feel on my face. "I promise to do the same. Which brings me to something I want to tell you. It's not something I've lied about, just something that I haven't told you that happened." He instantly tenses up and soon settles when he realizes how calm I am. "You know how you always say about how I gave you another chance?" He nods but doesn't say a word. "Well, while that may be true, I'll be honest and admit that I didn't completely get there on my own. I was torn between wanting to stay and fight for us and wanting to leave to avoid getting hurt." My mate keeps his eyes on me while I talk, but at the same time, he takes my body wash and washcloth and after lathering up the cloth starts washing my body and goddess, does it feel incredible. I'm not sure what my mate is thinking, but I don't ask; instead, I just let him be and try with all I have to ignore how much his touch is making my body burn up. "So what made you decide to stay?" He continues to wash me as he asks while keeping his focus on my stomach. "Honestly, I was at the point where I was pretty sure that I would stay, but again, I was still torn. Anyway, one day towards the end of my hospital stay when you had to leave to see to some pack stuff, Robbie came to see me.""He did?" I nod as I try to hold back a smile at how confused he looks right now. He always looks incredibly cute when he's confused, not that I would tell him that to his face. I can't imagine that a man of his look and position would appreciate being called cute, even if it is true. Instead, I just nod, afraid to talk just in case I do indeed laugh. "And what did he want?" "Once he knew that I was aware of your past, he wanted to talk to me about you. He was worried that I would leave based on how you had been with me. The whole... mate issue. Anyway, he just wanted me to see the good that was in you. He wanted me to know more about you before I made my decision." I watch his face while wondering what he's thinking. "I don't know if he wanted you to know about his visit, but I wanted to tell you. Please, don't be mad at him." He instantly smiles while shaking his head. "I'm not mad at him, baby. It sounds like something that Robbie would do. I'm not surprised." "Lottie also did a similar thing." He raises a single eyebrow, seeming surprised by my words. "She did?" I nod my head, smiling at the memory of how well Lottie spoke about her father. "She did. That girl thinks the world of you. You are her world, Nick and she spoke so highly of you that she made it almost impossible to even think about leaving." "That girl..." His smile when he talks is beaming, and it makes my heart skip a beat. "I swear, Bonnie. I have found myself in some insane and messed-up situations in my life, but I swear that despite the situation, I have never once regretted Lottie's arrival. She has been my world since the moment that I first laid eyes on her and now so are you and this little buba." He gently rubs one of his hands over my stomach before cupping the back of my head with his other hand and pulling me into him, and blessing me with a mouth-watering kiss. A shiver runs through my body from head to toe, so strong that Nick easily feels it. He pulls back from the kiss and slightly smirks. "Are you cold, sweetheart?" I shake my head and watch as he realizes why I shivered and instantly his eyes blacken. "I think we should get out of the bath tub now. I'm hungry and want a snack." It takes me a moment to realize what he means, and I can't help but laugh at how quickly he has us both out of the bath, wrapped in towels, and in the bedroom. "I hope you're not tired because I don't plan on either of us getting much sleep tonight." You won't hear me complaining!