Lakota It is the day before my birthday and I am hiding away in my office; I don't want to see or hear anyone right now. Since reading about Jake's life and getting to know the male that was supposed to be my second chance at happiness, I have felt better about the idea of moving on. Something Lotus and I have discussed a lot over the past year, but for some reason we both felt we weren't ready and didn't want to think about taking a chosen Mate just yet. Last night we decided to give the Goddess a year to find another Mate for us; if she feels I don't deserve or need one, I will think about a chosen Mate. Lotus is convinced that she will grant us another chance to have a Mate, to have a family of our own, and to finally be happy. I hope I will be granted another Mate, but I am not sure if I am willing to wait for very long, and that is why Lotus and I agreed to wait until after I turn twenty-four to look for a chosen Mate. "Do you want some company or should I get the hell out of here?" Lance asks through the mind-link, and for a second I want to tell him to get lost, but Lotus tells me to talk to him about my thoughts. "Come in, I could use someone else to give me an opinion," I reply, and he walks in with a small smile on his face. "Okay, from the sound of it you have been dealing with Lotus. Either the two of you disagree or she gave you something to think about. Either way you need someone to listen and maybe give you something else to think about," he says before he sits down next to me on the couch, placing his hand on top of my hand. I stare at our hands as I try to find the courage to tell him what is on my mind, what I have been trying to wrap my head around, and just hope he doesn't think I have lost my mind. I take a deep breath before I start telling him that I couldn't stomach the thought of taking a chosen Mate."I was never sure if it was because I wasn't ready or if somewhere deep inside me something was stopping me. All I knew was that it made me feel uncomfortable if I thought about it; I couldn't even be too close to a male for too long or let a male touch me for too long. The only ones that didn't make me feel that way are my Father and you. It never made sense to me and Lotus why we didn't pull away from you and Bolt, and it still doesn't make sense to us, but I am grateful that I was able to lean on you whenever I needed you. After reading Jake's journals it felt as if I finally closed a book, finally able to open another book with new possibilities, and last night Lotus and I were able to talk about maybe taking a chosen Mate. Lotus is adamant that the Goddess will grant us another Mate to be happy with, to start a family with, and I really hope that she is right. Because I am not as convinced as her, we agreed to wait until after my birthday next year to even think about taking a chosen Mate," I finally throw all the words out and just wait for him to start laughing. He pulls me in his arms before I hear him take a deep breath. "Lakota, I think that you never really came to terms with losing Jake, and deep down you probably felt that you couldn't be happy after losing Jake. I read his last words before coming here, and I know he meant what he wrote down for you. He loved you without ever meeting you, and he knew you deserved to be happy. I agree with Lotus; our Goddess will grant you another Mate, and I know you deserve another Mate," he says as he holds me close. "I am glad that Bolt and I could be there for you whenever you needed us." I can feel that he is uncomfortable, that there is something on his mind, and I turn towards him to ask him what he is thinking. "Do you want me to stay with you tonight?" He asks, and I know he wants to be there if my nightmare returns; I nod my head before I tell him my nightmare from last year."Fuck, Lakota. Why didn't you say anything?" He asks, and I tell him I didn't want him to worry about this, that it was bad enough I had to deal with it. "Sweetheart, if you had told me we could have talked about it, and you wouldn't have been worrying about this all by yourself," he mumbles into my hair. I feel better telling him about my last nightmare, and I know I will sleep better knowing he is right there with me. There is another reason I am not looking forward to this birthday, because like five years ago my birthday is during the Days of the Full Moon. This year it will be the first day of the Days of the Full Moon.