Kade's pov There are a few things racing through my mind right now and yet, not one eased me enough to keep my gaze connected with hers. They dropped to the counter. There's a heaviness in my gut and a lump in my throat that I swallowed. But swallowing somehow made it hurt and I realized that I was on the verge of a panic attack. I never had one, not since the morning after mom's death. That morning waking up to an empty house, with no gagging sounds or the stench of alcohol. That morning everything came slamming to me in full force. I remember not being able to breathe, with thoughts of my life turning just like hers. I remember gasping for air, my vision turning blurry as I fall to the floor, my knees slamming hard on the carpeted concrete. I remember gasping out for help, yet no one came. No one would. It was just me alone. Me without a mother or father. Me without anyone. I remember air not reaching into my lungs fast enough and then everything had gone black. Until I woke up to the sound of the home phone going off. It was the lawyer telling me my mom had left a will. Now I felt the same lack of air. I reach for the glass of milk, noting how my hands trembled. Everything was crashing down. I would be warned to stay away from her. Get kicked out of the house. I would lose her. The girl who ever made me have any hope for the future. The girl who held my heart in the palm of her hand. If I were to lose her, I didn't know if I could handle it. I don't think I would. Mia. In just a few months, she had managed to capture my heart, give me hope, and show me that I was worth something. She showed me that I was worth it. Now I was going to lose her. I draw in air sharply, trying to fill my lungs as much as I can. When my fingers brush the glass, it was too stiff, too shaky to grasp the glass fully.The milk slush around. "Kade?" I hear a voice, beckoning me to answer. But somehow my mouth felt frozen and my tongue felt like it was weighed by a ton of bricks. Then suddenly, fingers wrap around the bone of my wrist, stilling my shaky movements and forcing me to get out of the dark fog. "What's going on with you Kade?" Mrs. Cross's voice is soothing yet with an edge of panic mixed with confusion. I move my eyes away from her fingers wrapped around my wrist and lift them to her worried eyes. I nearly sagged by the worry she held for me. Not even my mother ever cared to be concerned about me. If she was, she never bothered to show it. It was somewhat comforting that Mrs. Cross cared that much. Her brows pinch as she squeezes my wrist." Does this happen often?" She questioned with concern drowning in her tone. I let out a shaky breath, looking away from her in shame. "Panic attacks? No." I answered honestly. I could feel Mrs. Cross's eyes on the side of my face intensely and pulled my hand out of her hold awkwardly. " Sorry," I whispered, not sure what to say at this very moment. "For what? Sleeping with my daughter or not telling Haiden and me about it?" Mrs. Cross whispered. I winced, looking down at the counter again. Anything was better than facing the woman who had opened her home for me. Only for me to sleep with her daughter despite her generosity to treat me like her very own son. "For both." I breathed out nervously linking my fingers together. It's quiet for a while, very quiet that you'd probably hear a pin drop. But then Mrs. Cross sliced the quietness with her voice. "You know, when I read the letter your mom sent me through the mail, I didn't know how to think in that moment. I honestly wasn't going to read the letter and contemplated if to burn it or throw it in the trash. And I thank God every day since then, that I didn't, that I chose to open it and read it."I stiffen. I didn't know mom had written a letter to Mrs. Cross. Then again I didn't even know she had a lawyer. "For years I resented her, my mom resented her. We were best friends, Gwen and I. We did everything together but Gwen was always the more adventurous one. And I guess our differences just pushed us apart little by little. Then she did something to me that cut the little string of hope we had dangling between us when she slept with my father." Nauseated. That's what I felt when Mrs. Cross finally told me what drifted mom and her apart. Now I understand why she never picked up mom's calls. Why she never bothered to visit, never mailed her, despite mom always mentioning her when she wasn't exactly sober. She had ruined that relationship. Yet she whined about Mrs. Cross not answering her phone calls. If I was in Mrs. Cross's position, I would ignore her too. " For others, it would be a simple mistake that can be mended, but for us, especially since she didn't look the least bit regretful, nothing could mend that string back. She had done too much. Too much for me to spite her for so long and promise myself that she would forever be in my past and never in my future. " With a heavy sigh, Mrs. Cross continued. "But then when I saw that letter and saw her name, something told me I should read it. And I did. I hadn't expected the news about her death, and neither did I expect her heartfelt apology for what happened years ago. But then the way she wrote about you, regarding you as her life. I could feel that she meant those words, knew that she wanted what was best for you. And in that moment I wanted what was best for you too. Even though I didn't know you, Kade. I wanted the best for you too." She whispered and I lift my gaze to finally look at her face. Fresh tears were trailing down her cheeks. "In that moment as I place down the letter I just knew you'd be a part of my family now. I didn't care for what she had done to me and my family long ago. I only cared about you in that moment Kade." I breathe in sharply. "You're a part of this family Kade. And I promised myself that I would look after you the best I could. I promised to never fail you. And I promised to always love you unconditionally the same as I love my children. " She says with a shaky breath. "But then I woke up tonight and saw the light streaming under the little space under Mia's door. Mia always falls asleep during a movie and sometimes someone has to put off the laptop for her. I thought I'd only see my teenage daughter, not the boy I see as now my son tangled in her sheets with her curled up to him when I opened that door." She shook her head. I bit my tongue ready for the lashing of words she would give me. "The way you held her and she held you, I just knew it was anything but friendly. It's the exact same way Haiden holds me. And in that moment, I felt anger." She admitted. " The boy I promise to love uncontrollable no matter what happens, I felt anger towards him. Anger that I trusted him with my daughter and he went behind my back and got into a relationship with her."I looked away, feeling my throat start to burn. " But then, when I took that step forward to demand an explanation, I noticed you were twitching and shifting about as if you were having a nightmare. Then I saw my daughter, somehow consciously hold you closer to her and press her cheeks to your body almost as if she was soothing you. And you stopped. It was like she kept those demons away from you. And in that moment, I understood." She murmurs. I sweep my gaze back to hers and swallowed the tightness in my throat. "I understood that you love her. That this wasn't just sex for you like it would be for most guys your age. It reminded me of Haiden and I. And in that moment, I didn't understand how I could ever have missed those looks passed between the two of you. Those sneaky glances, those reddened cheeks. The shyness. I didn't understand how I couldn't see it sooner. That you love her." She breathes out as if in wonder. Finally, I managed to crack out in the most honest I have ever been. " I do. I really do."