Haiden Cross "You're late!" Charlotte grits out as she peeled the front door open. Her eyes narrowed on my face and her features darkened in anger. "And you're a mess!" She hisses. I blinked, narrowed my eyes and just stared at her. Did her eyes always look this big? Especially when she's furious? Her nose twitches as if sniffing something unpleasant. In that case, it was me. I didn't give a fuck. "Is that alcohol I smell?!" She screeched. "Haiden had you been drinking?! You're underage- "Oh shut the fuck up!" My slurred words still did some damage. They slashed through her just like I wanted them to. "You act like you give a fuck about me but you don't. I know in your head you wished it was me who died in that car. I bet you wished I died tonight while driving." I slurred out. I swore I couldn't feel my feet anymore. My vision blurs but I caught the frown on her face. I felt my weight lighten and reached out to hold the doorframe before I tumble like the sad excuse of the human being I am. "Haiden for fuck sake, tomorrow is a school day." I heard her curse softly. Of course she completely brushed my words aside and decided to pretend like she gave a flying fuck about me. She didn't. No one did except for him. Now, her. Bella. At least I tried to tell myself that she cared. I mean she cared enough to let me love her for one night. One night wasn't enough though. But I needed to face the harsh reality that sometimes you need to love someone from afar just to protect them from, you. "Get out of my fucking way mother dearest." I humph and tried to feel my legs. How the fuck am I supposed to walk up those stairs? I suppose I shouldn't have drunk those beers and alcohol after winning my match. But that was the only way to numb the pain of knowing I lost her. It worked for a little while until images of her beneath me assaulted my mind. And the taste of her replaced the bitter taste of alcohol. "Christian!" I heard her yell. I clenched my eyes shut, gritting my teeth. Her voice right now sounded like nails being dragged across a chalkboard. I can only imagine how it will sound tomorrow morning when I will be suffering a hangover. "God, can you be anymore louder, Cruella de Vil?" I snapped my forehead falling on my hand that held the doorframe. Maybe I should just sleep on the porch tonight. Better than entering that fucking house. The sound of loud feet nearing made my teeth hurt by the pressure I installed on them by clenching my jaw. Of course he'll come when mommy dearest calls. Such a fucking perfect son. I snorted inwardly. It hasn't been a full week yet and he is everything she ever wanted in a son. "Did you need something Charlotte?" He asked. Ah always the gentleman. How great. "Yes. Can you help me with him please? I don't want the neighbors to see him like this." She murmurs, I could detect the slight embarrassment unveiling in her tone. "They've seen far worse." I snorted lowly. It was true, the neighbors should have already gotten used to my dumbass state by now. "I can't with you right now Haiden," Charlotte grumbles under her breath. "You keep messing up." Her voice is thickened with disappointment, something I am familiar with. I basked in it, I enjoyed disappointing her. I enjoyed seeing her frown. Because that was the only thing I have ever known. I was fucked up in more ways than one. "Always right?" I exhaled. With the little strength I remained, I lift my head from my hand and narrowed them at the two. They really did look like the perfect mother and son duo. There was no need for me in this family, the space had long gotten filled, by him. I staggered away from the door and made my way inside. Of course my feet weren't quite listening to my brain right now and I stumbled. "Woah man easy there." I clenched my jaw when he catches my fall and quickly throws my heavy arm over his shoulder. I just wanted to feel numb. But now all I could feel was rage. I let it consume me like usual, let it eat at what little restraint I had left. I harshly move away from him, the alcohol swashing in my stomach protesting at the sudden movement. "Get the fuck away from me. I don't need your fucking help." I grunt, dragging my heavy numb feet to the stairway. "Come on man, let me at least help you up those stairs. You will tumble without my help." The asshole warned.What was he? Fucking Superman to the rescue? I bet he fucking enjoyed seeing me like this. I turn to him, my hand bracing on the rail as I raised my middle finger. "Help this." I spat and turned my slightly blurry vision to Charlotte who stood beside him. "Don't just stand there mommy. Tell me how of an embarrassment I am to you. Tell me how I keep disappointing you over and over." I mocked, rolling my eyes and turned around to face the now-looking complicated stairs. It was like a fucking maze. Or maybe that was just my vision playing tricks on me. "Nothing I haven't heard before," I murmured and started climbing those stairs. "I don't need to tell you that when you already know." Charlotte grits. "You know what, I'm done. It's your funeral." A second later I heard her retreating footsteps. "Yeah and I'll see you in hell!" I yelled, hoping she would hear me. I groan and grunt like I had just been run over by a truck. Why did I think drinking this much was a good idea? She did this to me, fuck. I should've stayed away from her from the beginning. Sleeping with her only made things worse. "Shit." I cursed as I trip on one of the stairs. Arms wrap around my bicep to stop me from falling down to my death or to a hospital bed. "Oh you don't have to thank me." Christian says sarcastically and helps me up the remaining of the stairs. For once I don't protest and just let him until we neared my door. I pull away from him and sway to my door. "I got it from here." I grumble, my hands flatten on the wood as my forehead plaster to the surface. "You sure man?" He asked. I don't bother turning to him, breathing heavily as I snapped. "I said I got it dammit." I clench my eyes shut and twist the doorknob until the door opens. I stumble inside my room, holding the door so I wouldn't fall. "If you need anything-" "Highly doubt it Superman." I grumble, slamming the door shut before he finished that sentence. I stumble to my bed and sloppily take off my dirty bloody shirt. It wasn't my blood. It belonged to that guy I beat to a pulp. With all their heroic act, they never asked what happened. I snorted. All were the same, no one truly cared. As long as they looked like a good family in public, I was nothing to them but a hassle. I found my feet dragging to my window. My heart slams when I noticed for the first time Bella closed her windows. Even her curtains were drawn. Her lights were still on though.I stood there just staring. I knew I was just waiting for her to open those windows so I could get a glimpse of her. I brushed my hand over my face and groaned. What was I thinking? It was better for her to hate me. That means she will stay away. With a groan, I turned around and staggered to the bed. I fell face first on my sheets. "ah." I groan. Grunting, I turned around and stared at the ceiling. I kicked off my shoes and lift my hand to my bleeding lip. It was better this way. She deserved better and not a disappointment.