Shining Through the Chaos with My Bulldog
Visions of catastrophe, supplies appearing out of nowhere, fruits and vegetables so fresh they looked untouched by time—there was no way she could ever explain any of it to him. There was no way to hide it. When the moment came, she would have no choice but to speak the truth. But humanity was ... complex, and she couldn't risk anyone else spreading her secrets. She did not want to. Her life as it stood already felt like more than she deserved. If she had to survive through the end of the world again, she wanted peace, not risk. She would not allow unnecessary dangers into her life. Natalie parted her lips, searching for words. Yet, when her thoughts faltered, something foolish escaped her mouth. "Don't fall in love with me. It won't lead anywhere." Cassian had just confessed his love, waiting for her response with his heart open, and instead he was met with that. Helplessness crossed his face like a shadow. "So you asked me that question just so you could throw me aside?" Natalie's cheeks warmed, shame tugging at her voice. "No, that's not what I meant ... " The tension from earlier had driven her to ask, and the words had tumbled out before she could stop them. "I'm just saying I'm not planning on being in a relationship. You should push those thoughts away ... " Her voice died when Cassian leaned closer. Their noses almost brushed. His breath skimmed across her skin, and heat surged up her neck, painting her cheeks crimson. He held her gaze for a long beat, then he leaned back and sank into the couch. His lips curved slightly. "Live however you want. You don't have to worry about me." Natalie's heart jolted. Had she somehow led him on? She softened her tone, hoping he would understand. "A relationship takes more than one person to work. One-sided love is nothing but pain. If you like me, and I don't feel the same ... " The words sounded like a blade, so she rushed to soften them. "It's not because something's wrong with you. It's me ... " Her mind spun, desperate to find a flaw in herself, but none came. Panic pushed her tongue forward. "It's me. I'm frigid when it comes to sex!" Cassian let out a short laugh, caught somewhere between amusement and disbelief. "Say that again?" She'd come up with that kind of excuse just to refuse me? She couldn't bear to meet his eyes, guilt gnawing at her. "Anyway, we're impossible." Cassian started to speak, but his gaze shifted. His eyes landed on a stack of supplies in the corner. Something pink caught his attention. He rose, crossed the room, and picked up a box. The print on the front stood bold. It read, "Ultra Thin. Love without distance." At the bottom, another line read, "Wrap safety. Wrap happiness." Cassian's hand stilled, his expression locking in place. Natalie's eyes widened, horror rushing through her. She darted forward, snatching it from his hand in a rush.She had been careless earlier while pulling from the stash, not realizing that condoms had been mixed into the pile. Worse, an entire carton of them sat right beside it. Mortification burned through her, scorching from head to toe. Cassian's lips curled in a faint, knowing smile. "Somehow, I don't think you're as frigid as you say you are, Nattie." Her face blazed hot, and she snapped, "Don't call me Nattie!" She tossed the small box aside and shoved the carton deeper into the corner, as if burying it could erase the sight. Afraid of being misunderstood, she blurted out the first excuse that came. "Those ... those belonged to my ex!" The words landed like a hammer, and both of them froze. Cassian's face darkened in an instant. Inside, Natalie cursed herself. What was she even saying? An ex? Then an idea struck her. Maybe this was the chance to finally drive him away. She forced herself to go on. "After I broke up with him, I lost interest in men altogether. So you might as well stop hoping." Cassian's jaw tightened, his voice sharp. "Stop making things up!" Natalie lifted her chin stubbornly. "I'm not making it up." He glared at her, silent, his teeth grinding before he spat, "Fine. Perfect." Without another word, he stood and strode for the door. At the entryway, he stopped. He pulled two small items from his pocket and placed them on the shoe cabinet. His voice came out rough. "Stay safe."Then he left. Natalie stood frozen, listening to his footsteps fade down the hall. Only when silence settled did she approach the cabinet. On top lay a strip of anti-inflammatory pills and fever medicine. Soon after, the air outside shook with the roar of blades. She stepped to the window, watching as the helicopter lifted, climbing higher until it shrank to a speck against the sky. Her chest tightened with an ache she hadn't expected. Would she ever see him again? She still owed him half the supplies he had carried from Cassiland Base. Lucky padded up to her side, tail swaying, eyes full of confusion. Natalie stroked her head and forced a smile. "What's wrong? Upset that the handsome guy left?" The dog pressed closer, rubbing against her leg as if answering. Before she could sink deeper into her thoughts, a sharp knock rattled the door. Olivia's voice came muffled through the hall. "Nat?" Natalie pulled it open. Olivia stood there, eyes alight with mischief. "I just heard a helicopter take off. That was Mr. Holland, wasn't it?" Her grin was playful, her face brimming with curiosity, but then she noticed Natalie's expression. The sparkle dimmed, confusion rising in its place instead."What happened? Did you two fight?" Natalie shook her head. "No." Olivia narrowed her eyes. "Don't lie. Your face tells me your mood is wrecked." Anger lit across her features. "He didn't hurt you, did he?" Natalie shook her head quickly. "No ... " She hesitated, then stepped aside. "Come in. I'll tell you inside."
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